Golden Whiskers with Scott Colby

In this special live episode of the Golden Whiskers podcast, I sat down with Sandra-Lynne, a pet loss grief specialist and founder of Tails of Tribute, to talk about something every cat parent will face at some point… but something we don’t always know how to navigate.
Grief.
Not just the loss itself—but what happens to the bond after our cats are gone.
Because if you’ve ever loved a cat deeply, you know… that connection doesn’t just disappear. It changes. It shifts. And sometimes, it lingers in ways that are hard to explain.
This conversation felt especially personal for me.
My best friend Lori recently lost her cat Remi on March 1st. It’s been just a few weeks, and I’ve seen firsthand how disorienting that loss can be. The silence in the apartment. The routines that suddenly stop. The spaces that feel… different.
I’ve been there too.
When I lost Mia, I couldn’t even stay in my own place at first. I ended up sleeping on Lori’s couch because being alone felt unbearable.
So this episode isn’t just a conversation.
It’s something I wish more people had access to when they’re in the middle of it.
✨ Episode Snapshot
In this episode, Sandra shares a deeply compassionate and grounded perspective on pet loss—one that goes beyond the typical “stages of grief” and into what it actually feels like to live through it.
💔 The Early Days of Grief
Sandra describes the first few weeks after losing a pet as raw, overwhelming, and all-consuming. It’s not neat or linear. It’s everything at once—sadness, guilt, confusion, longing.
Your mind replays moments. Your body feels heavy. You’re not “processing”… you’re surviving.
And hearing that—just that alone—can be a relief.
Because it reminds you: nothing is wrong with you.
🐾 Staying Connected Without “Holding On”
One of the most powerful takeaways from this conversation is the idea that we don’t have to “move on” from our pets.
Instead, we begin to integrate the relationship.
What was once a physical presence becomes something internal—memories, feelings, lessons, love.
That bond doesn’t disappear.
It evolves.
⚖️ Navigating Guilt
If you’ve ever lost a pet, you’ve probably asked yourself:
Did I do the right thing?Should I have waited longer?Could I have done more?
Sandra explains that guilt is incredibly common—and it doesn’t mean you did anything wrong.
We make decisions based on what we know in the moment, with the resources we have, guided by love.
There is no crystal ball.
And sometimes, part of healing is gently reframing those thoughts and allowing ourselves some compassion.
🧠 Grief Lives in the Body Too
One thing Sandra emphasizes—and something that really stood out—is that grief isn’t just emotional.
It’s physical.
It can feel like:
* heaviness in your chest
* restlessness or anxiety
* exhaustion
* difficulty focusing
Your nervous system is trying to process something profound.
Which is why gentle practices—like breathwork, tapping, or simply creating small moments of calm—can be so helpful.
❤️ For Anyone Grieving Right Now
I asked Sandra what she would say to someone who just lost their cat.
Her answer was honest and grounding.
There’s no way around it—you have to go through it.
But there are small things that can help:
Changing your routine slightly so your body isn’t constantly expecting your cat to be therePlaying music or adding soft sound to ease the silenceLighting a candle to create a sense of presenceGiving yourself permission to not be okay
It’s not about fixing the grief.
It’s about learning how to be with it.
🌿 Honoring Your Cat’s Life
We also talked about ways to honor your cat that don’t have to be big or complicated.
Some of the most meaningful ideas included:
Creating a memory box with collars, tags, photos, or favorite toysWriting letters or journaling to your catPlanting something in their memoryHanging a wind chime and letting the sound become a reminder of themWriting a tribute that captures their story and the impact they had on your life
For me, journaling was a big one after Nomar passed.
I wrote him letters. I told him I loved him. I apologized for the things I wished I could have done differently.
And over time, something shifted.
It didn’t take the grief away—but it softened it.
📘 Sandra’s Recommendations for Cat Owners
If you’re navigating pet loss, here are a few gentle takeaways from this conversation:
• Allow yourself to feel everything—grief isn’t linear• Remind yourself: you did the best you could with what you knew• Let the relationship evolve instead of trying to “move on”• Use simple practices like journaling, candles, or music to create connection• Change routines slightly to ease the transition• Speak about your pet, even if it’s just to yourself• Lean on support—you don’t have to go through this alone
🌍 Where to Find Sandra
Sandra-Lynne offers a beautiful, compassionate space for those navigating pet loss.
Website: https://tailsoftribute.com
Substack: Tails of TributeFacebook & InstagramYouTube
She also offers:• 1:1 grief support sessions• A free collection of 50 pet loss journal prompts• A space to write and share tributes to your pet• A supportive Facebook group for those grieving
If you’re going through this right now, her work is a wonderful place to start.
✨ Final Thought
Grief doesn’t mean the bond is broken.
It means the bond mattered.
And maybe… just maybe… the goal isn’t to let go of our cats.
It’s to carry them with us in a different way.
💌 Never Miss an Episode
For weekly feline wellness conversations—ranging from health and behavior to the deeper emotional bond we share with our cats—head to GoldenWhiskersLove.com and subscribe.
Every Friday, a new episode lands in your inbox… along with practical, heartfelt insights to help your cat live a longer, healthier, and happier life.


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This is a shorter solo episode, but I wanted to share something that happened a couple days ago with Niko and Milo because it really caught me off guard.
If you listened to the episode from a couple weeks ago, you might remember the situation where Niko came home from the vet and Milo didn’t recognize him because of the smell. That led to a full separation and reintroduction process over three days, which was stressful for all of us. Thankfully, everything worked out.
This time, it was a different kind of situation—and honestly, a little more confusing.
Niko and Milo are bonded brothers. They play hard, chase each other around the apartment, jump up on shelves and cat trees, and wrestle constantly. That’s just their normal rhythm. Every now and then, one of them might hiss if play gets a little too intense, but it’s rare and usually passes quickly.
A couple mornings ago, I was hosting a video call and could see them in the background doing their usual thing—running, chasing, going up and down the shelves. At one point, I heard a hiss, but nothing that seemed out of the ordinary.
A few minutes later, after I got off the call, I noticed Milo hiding in my bedroom closet, behind the hanging clothes. That’s not a place he ever goes, and it immediately stood out to me.
It was time to feed them, so I grabbed their bowls like I normally do. As usual, both of them ran toward the kitchen when they heard the bowls—but then Milo suddenly turned around and ran back to the closet before I even put the food down.
That’s when I knew something wasn’t right.
I also noticed that one of them had used the litter box and didn’t bury it, which was unusual. I started trying to piece things together and wondered if maybe something had happened during play, or possibly while one of them was in the litter box. I didn’t see it happen, so I was left guessing.
Lori was here, so we decided to separate them briefly just to give Milo some space. She stayed in the bedroom with Milo and gave him some treats, while I stayed in the living room with Niko and did the same. Even with the door closed and treats in front of him, Milo still seemed uneasy. He just wasn’t himself.
After a little while, we opened the door and I put their food down. They both ran to their bowls and ate like normal. Afterward, Milo came up and sat on my lap for a few minutes, which felt like a good sign. But then when Niko came over, Milo got up, moved around a bit, and eventually went right back to the closet.
This went on for about two hours. The best way I can describe it is that he just seemed spooked.
At that point, I reached out to Dr. Rachel Geller, who helped me with the previous situation, just to get her thoughts. I wanted to know if this was something I should be concerned about or if it would likely resolve on its own.
Eventually, things started to shift. Milo came and sat on my lap while I was hosting another call and stayed there for about 90 minutes. Niko was sleeping on the couch nearby. Then Milo got down, walked over to the couch, and instead of reacting or retreating, he joined Niko. They started grooming each other and ended up falling asleep together like nothing had happened.
Everything went back to normal.
When Dr. Rachel responded, one thing she said really stood out to me. She reminded me that cats, just like people, can have miscommunications. They can misread body language, get annoyed with each other, or simply have a moment where things feel off.
I realized I had been thinking of them as bonded brothers who are always in sync, but even they can have small breakdowns in communication.
Her recommendation, since this seemed like a one-time event, was to focus on interactive play—specifically using the prey sequence. That means engaging them in play that mimics stalking, chasing, pouncing, and catching, which gives them a healthy outlet for their energy and helps rebuild positive associations.
It was a really good reminder for me.
They do play together all the time, but that’s not the same as intentional, structured play with me. I haven’t been as consistent with that lately, especially since I don’t currently have a wand toy, and it made me realize that I need to get back to doing that daily.
📘 Recommendations for Cat Owners
If you ever notice one of your cats suddenly acting differently—hiding, avoiding food, or seeming uneasy around another cat—it doesn’t always mean something serious is wrong.
Sometimes it really is just a moment.
That said, it’s worth paying attention. Give them a little space if needed, keep an eye on their behavior, and consider adding in structured play sessions to help release any built-up tension and restore a sense of normalcy.
In many cases, like this one, things resolve on their own.
🐱 What I’m Trying With Niko & Milo
For me, this was a reminder to be more intentional again.
I’m committing to bringing back daily interactive play sessions with both of them, making sure they’re getting that full prey sequence experience, not just relying on their roughhousing with each other.
💭 Final Thought
This was a small moment, but it stuck with me.
Even in a home where things feel calm and connected most of the time, there can still be brief moments of confusion or miscommunication. What matters most is how quickly things can settle when they feel safe again.
If you found this helpful, make sure you’re subscribed to the Golden Whiskers Podcast so you don’t miss future episodes.
And if you’ve been enjoying the show, a quick five-star review really helps more cat parents find it.


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This week’s episode is a little different.
Most weeks on the Golden Whiskers Podcast, I’m talking about feline wellness — nutrition, longevity, enrichment, and how we can help our cats live long, healthy lives.
But today I’m talking about grief.
My best friend Lori’s cat, Remi, passed away on March 1st. I’m recording this episode on March 10th, so it’s still very fresh. Remi wasn’t technically my cat… but the loss has still hit me really hard.
If you’ve ever loved a cat — whether it was yours, a friend’s, or one you cared for often — you probably understand how deep that bond can go.
In this episode, I share a tribute to Remi and reflect on the powerful ripple effect animals can have on the people around them. I also talk about the unique grief that can come when a cat who wasn’t “officially yours” still becomes part of your heart and your daily life.
Remi was a stunningly beautiful cat with a joyful spirit. She loved being outside, exploring the grass around Lori’s apartment, greeting people at the door, and opening Christmas presents like a little kid on Christmas morning.
Over the past couple of months, as Remi’s health declined, I spent a lot of time helping Lori care for her — giving medication, visiting almost daily, and simply being there. That time deepened the bond even more.
And when the time came to say goodbye at the University of Tennessee Veterinary Hospital, I was there with Lori — just as Lori had been there for me when I had to say goodbye to my own cats, Nomar and Mia.
This episode is really about that bond. The quiet magic animals bring into our lives. The companionship, comfort, and purpose they give us — often without us even realizing it until they’re gone.
📘 Recommendations for Cat Owners
If you are experiencing pet loss right now — or supporting someone who is — a few thoughts from the heart:
Lean on your support system.Grief can feel incredibly isolating, especially when your home suddenly feels quiet. If you have someone you trust — a friend, family member, or fellow pet lover — let them be there for you.
Talk to someone who understands the human–animal bond.Not everyone has experienced pet loss, and that’s okay. But it can help tremendously to talk with someone who truly understands how deep that bond runs.
Let go of guilt.Almost every pet parent experiences it after a loss — wondering if we could have done something differently. The truth is, we make the best decisions we can with the information and resources we have, and we do it out of love.
Allow yourself to grieve.The loss of a cat is real grief. Give yourself permission to feel it.
✨Final Thought
Remi may have been Lori’s cat…
but the love she created reached far beyond just one person.
Animals have this quiet way of changing our lives. They bring joy, comfort, companionship, and meaning into our everyday routines.
And when they’re gone, that absence is deeply felt.
Remi will always be remembered, and always loved.
Rest easy, sweet Remi. 🐾


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In this week’s episode, I share a very personal story that unfolded right here in my apartment with my two bonded brothers, Niko and Milo.
If you have more than one cat, you might know this scenario.
You bring one cat home from the vet… and suddenly the other cat acts like they’ve never met before.
Hissing. Swatting. Staring.
That’s exactly what happened with Niko and Milo.
These two normally sleep together, groom each other, and chase each other around the apartment like brothers. But after a quick vet visit, Milo looked at Niko like he was a complete stranger.
It was confusing. It was stressful. And honestly, it made my stomach drop.
In this episode, I walk through what happened, why this kind of reaction is actually very common in cats, and how things eventually resolved.
😻Why Cats Sometimes “Forget” Each Other After the Vet
Cats recognize each other primarily through scent.
When a cat goes to the vet, they often come home smelling like things that are completely foreign to the other cat:
• disinfectants• other animals• medications• unfamiliar environments
So when the cat returns home, the other cat’s brain may process it as:
“Something about this cat is different.”
That’s what leads to the hissing, swatting, and intense monitoring.
It’s not that their bond suddenly disappeared. It’s more like a temporary case of scent confusion.
⏳What It Felt Like in the Moment
Even though I understand cat behavior pretty well, watching Niko and Milo react to each other like that was tough.
You start wondering:
Did their bond break?
Are they going to fight?
Did I do something wrong?
Every hiss suddenly feels huge.
But what I learned through this experience is that hissing and even a light swat are often just cats communicating boundaries, not signs of a broken relationship.
🙏Getting Guidance from Dr. Rachel Geller and Melissa Sherman
I reached out to two people I trust for guidance.
Dr. Rachel Geller, a cat behaviorist, helped me put a structured plan in place. Her approach focused on rebuilding positive associations between the cats through controlled feeding sessions and short, supervised “togetherness” sessions.
At the same time, Melissa Sherman — an animal communicator — shared another helpful perspective.
Melissa reminded me that sometimes we can over-manage situations like this. Cats also need space to communicate and work things out naturally.
So I followed Dr. Rachel’s plan while also trusting what I was seeing from Niko and Milo.
🐱❤️🐱How the Togetherness Sessions Went
We started with short, supervised sessions where Niko came out of the bathroom and Milo could see and smell him again.
At first Milo watched him closely.
There were a few:
• butt sniff checks• small hisses• a couple gentle swats
But nothing escalated.
They were able to be in the same space and disengage on their own.
And gradually the tension started to fade.
💤 The Moment Everything Shifted
Later that evening we let Niko stay out longer while my friend Lori and I just sat on the couch watching TV.
At first Milo monitored him closely.
But over time things softened.
Lori went to sleep in my bedroom and I fell asleep on the sofa.
Then around 3:40 in the morning, I woke up and saw something that made me smile.
Niko and Milo were sleeping together again.
About five minutes later they woke up and started grooming each other.
That’s when I knew things were truly back to normal.
💡What Cat Parents Can Take Away from This
If something like this happens in your home, here are a few things to remember.
Vet scent confusion is very common.
Cats rely heavily on scent to recognize each other.
Hissing doesn’t necessarily mean aggression.
Often it’s just a cat saying:
“Give me a little space.”
Most bonded cats work things out surprisingly quickly.
Once the scent starts to normalize again, their relationship usually resets.
✨ Final Thought
Watching Niko and Milo sleep together again reminded me just how strong the bond between cats can be.
Sometimes they just need a little time to remember who each other are.
And sometimes the best thing we can do as cat parents is stay calm, give them space, and let them communicate in their own language.


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In this week’s episode, I’m resharing one of our most downloaded conversations — and it’s hitting differently for me right now.
I’m joined by Julie-Anne Heart, founder of Naturally CAT and author of Cat Chakras. Julie-Anne specializes in gentle, holistic approaches that support a cat’s emotional and energetic well-being — including something many of us have never heard of: color therapy.
I’m bringing this episode back because a close friend of mine, Lori, is navigating a tough stretch with her cat Remi. Remi was recently diagnosed with chronic IBD. She’s dealing with thyroid issues and recently started steroids after vomiting, appetite loss, and weight changes.
Since starting steroids, she’s been more vocal. Sometimes restless. Sometimes unsettled.
And honestly? Sometimes we just don’t know what she wants.
If you’ve ever had a cat on medication and felt like you were guessing… this episode is for you.
Color therapy may sound unfamiliar — it did to me at first — but what I appreciate about Julie-Anne’s approach is that it’s gentle, non-invasive, and centered around giving your cat a choice.
✨ Episode Snapshot
In this episode, you’ll learn:
🌈 What Color Therapy Actually Is
Julie-Anne explains how color therapy works with the seven main energy centers (chakras) in the body — and how each color corresponds to different emotional and physical support.
🧘 Why Choice Is Everything
You don’t force a color into a cat bed or carrier. You offer options and let your cat choose. The act of choice itself is part of the healing.
🎨 The 7 Main Colors Explained
* Red (root – grounding, safety)
* Orange (sacral)
* Yellow (solar plexus)
* Green or Pink (heart – love, reassurance)
* Blue (throat)
* Indigo (third eye)
* Violet or White (crown)
Shade doesn’t matter nearly as much as intention and offering.
🟥 Grounding Anxious or Restless Cats
For cats who seem on edge, unsettled, or stressed — especially after vet visits or medication changes — Julie-Anne often starts with red for grounding.
💚 Rebuilding Trust After Stress
When Nico came home from an emergency vet visit and Milo hissed at him (because his scent changed), Julie-Anne suggested red for Nico and green for Milo — to support grounding and heart reassurance.
🧺 You Can Use What You Already Have
You don’t need special equipment. Towels, shirts, scarves, paper, even pens can work. The medium isn’t the magic — the offering is.
⏱ “My Cat Only Sat There for Two Minutes… Did It Work?”
Yes. A sniff. A paw placed on a color. A brief sit. All count as engagement.
🌈 Rainbow Blankets: Helpful but Limited
Rainbow fabric can help, but individual colors give your cat more control if they only want one frequency at a time.
📘 Julie-Anne’s Recommendations for Cat Owners
Keeping it simple, gentle, and practical:
• Offer colors in neutral, calm areas — not near litter boxes or food stations.• Don’t force colors into carriers or beds.• Watch subtle signals — sniffing, stepping across, stretching a paw.• Start with red for grounding if your cat feels anxious or unsettled.• Use green for emotional reassurance and bonding support.• Be patient — some cats take a day or two to lean into something new.• Remember: your calm energy matters too.
🌍 Where to Find Julie-Anne
Website: https://naturallycats.co.uk/
Books mentioned:• Cat Chakras• The Aromatic Cat (co-authored with Nayana Morag)
Julie-Anne also offers chakra rebalance sessions, Soul Sensing treatments, and programs to help anxious cat guardians move from head to heart.
✨ Final Thought
When our cats are stressed — especially during illness or medication changes — we don’t always need a dramatic intervention.
Sometimes we need gentleness.
Sometimes we soften the room.Sometimes we regulate ourselves.Sometimes we offer choice instead of control.
If you try color therapy — or even just experiment with calming environmental shifts — I’d genuinely love to hear what you notice.
💌 Never Miss an Episode
For weekly feline wellness conversations with leading experts, head to GoldenWhiskersLove.com and subscribe. Every Friday’s episode lands straight in your inbox — plus practical takeaways for cat parents who want their cats to live longer, healthier, and happier lives.


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