On Purpose with Jay Shetty

Jay sits down with singer-songwriter Noah Kahan to break down the pressure that comes after “making it” - the imposter syndrome, the constant comparison, and the fear of losing it all. Noah shares how music became his escape from anxiety growing up, what it felt like to finally land the record deal he dreamed of, and why success didn’t silence the doubt, it amplified it.
Jay and Noah unpack the myth of the “tortured artist,” and the quiet fear that healing might take away what makes you creative. Noah opens up about his recent OCD diagnosis, how he let go of the belief that he had to suffer for his art, and what it took to find his voice again without relying on pain. Noah speaks candidly about his struggles with body dysmorphia and the unexpected therapy of creating his documentary. Together they explore what it means to find balance and to stop performing for the world so you can finally be seen by the people who matter most.
In this episode, you'll learn:
How to Stop Defining Your Worth by Your Work
How to Face Your Unseen Fears Through Therapy
How to Stay Present When Life Feels Overwhelming
How to Extract Lessons from Painful Feedback
How to Handle the Fear of Losing Your Success
How to Stay Grounded Between Praise and Criticism
How to Prioritize Your Time Over the Endless Grind
Whether you are navigating a major life transition or simply trying to find your footing in a loud world, remember that your self-worth is not a mathematical equation based on your latest achievement.
No one should have to navigate their mental health journey alone. Join Noah in the mission to prove that the more we share our stories, the more we empower others to do the same. Visit: https://www.busyheadproject.org/
With Love and Gratitude,
Jay Shetty
JAY’S DAILY WISDOM DELIVERED STRAIGHT TO YOUR INBOX
Join 900,000+ readers discovering how small daily shifts create big life change with my free newsletter. Subscribe https://news.jayshetty.me/subscribe
Check out our Apple subscription to unlock bonus content of On Purpose! https://lnk.to/JayShettyPodcast
What We Discuss:
00:00 Intro
01:54 Seeing Yourself Through the Eyes of Others
04:39 The Childhood Memory That Defined My Career
05:42 Middle Child Energy and the Need to Be Heard
06:57 Music Was My Only Plan A
08:44 The Disconnect Between Fitting In and Being Genuine
11:09 Expressing Yourself Without Giving Yourself Away
14:05 Songwriting: The Constant Search for a Simpler Life
17:25 Every Creative Process Is Different
18:52 When What You Do Becomes Who You Are
24:07 The Power of Journaling Your Lessons
27:05 Does Healing Kill Creativity?
29:48 My Biggest Regret in Communicating with Family
32:43 The Vulnerability of Filming Your Private Life
36:32 Healing and Finding Peace as a Family
43:51 Has Success Made Mental Health Harder or Better?
46:19 The Honest Truth about Body Dysmorphia
52:09 Living and Dying by Your Own Honesty
57:40 The Difference Between Going to Therapy and Doing Therapy
01:00:24 Do You Secretly Find Comfort in Your Pain?
01:02:01 Re-evaluating What Truly Matters After Success
01:05:59 Finding the Strength to Believe in Yourself
01:11:04 Protecting Your Heart While Taking Criticism
01:14:06 Stability Rooted in Love and Marriage
01:20:48 Would You Rather?
01:22:55 Gut Reaction
01:25:46 Noah on Final Five
Episode Resources:
Website | https://noahkahan.com/
YouTube | https://www.youtube.com/c/NoahKahan
Facebook | https://www.facebook.com/noahkahanmusic
Instagram | https://www.instagram.com/noahkahanmusic/
TikTok | https://www.tiktok.com/@noahkahanmusic
X | https://x.com/NoahKahan
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Today, Jay shares how, before we even get out of bed, our minds are already filled with worries, quiet anxieties, and thoughts we didn’t choose. Instead of intentionally creating our day, most of us unknowingly inherit stress from yesterday. Drawing on both modern neuroscience and ancient wisdom traditions, Jay reframes the morning not as a routine, but as the foundation of our mental “operating system”, a critical window where our thoughts shape how we experience the next 16 hours.
Rather than relying on empty affirmations, Jay offers a more grounded, evidence-based approach rooted in how the brain actually works. He explains how our minds are most programmable in the early morning, when emotions are heightened and our critical thinking is still waking up. This creates a rare opportunity to interrupt automatic patterns, reset our focus, and consciously direct our attention before the world begins to pull us in different directions.
In this episode you'll learn:
How to Take Control of Your Mind First Thing in the Morning
How to Stop Inheriting Anxiety Each Day
How to Rewire Your Thoughts in Minutes
How to Protect Your Attention Early
How to Measure Your Day with Purpose Not Productivity
Every morning is a quiet reset, an opportunity that doesn’t ask for perfection, only intention. You don’t need to have everything figured out, and you don’t need to feel ready.
SpringFest is happening now, and our best lineup is here at Lowe’s. Visit: https://www.lowes.com/
With Love and Gratitude,
Jay Shetty
JAY’S DAILY WISDOM DELIVERED STRAIGHT TO YOUR INBOX
Join 900,000+ readers discovering how small daily shifts create big life change with my free newsletter. Subscribe here: https://news.jayshetty.me/subscribe
What We Discuss:
00:00 Intro
01:26 Your Morning Is Programming the Rest of Your Day
04:17 The Creator's Hour
08:48 #1: I Am Awake Before My Problems
12:29 #2: I Am Not Yesterday
15:17 #3: Today I Direct My Attention
18:40 #4: I Won't Try to Solve Problems That Haven't Happened Yet
21:48 #5: My Body Isn't a Vehicle For My Head
25:14 #6: I Focus on What Matters Most, Not What Feels Urgent
28:25 #7: I Measure Today by Who I Am, Not Just What I Achieve
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

In this special live conversation at the Orpheum Theatre in Vancouver, Canada, Jay sits down with renowned physician and trauma expert Dr. Gabor Maté for a deeply moving exploration of identity, healing, and the hidden patterns that shape our lives. Gabor explains that our obsession with how others perceive us often begins in childhood, when our fundamental need to be seen and understood isn’t fully met. In response, many people unconsciously adapt, hiding parts of themselves or becoming who they think others want them to be in order to feel accepted and loved.
In this episode you'll Learn:
How to Stop Living for Others’ Approval
How to Break Generational Trauma Patterns
How to Know If You’re Living Your True Life
How to Stop Tying Your Worth to Productivity
How to Recognize When Stress Is Hurting You
How to Listen to Your Inner Voice Again
How to Start Saying “No” Without Feeling Guilty
How to Practice Self-Compassion Instead of Self-Criticism
How to Turn Your Past Coping Patterns Into Healing
How to Ask the Question That Changes Your Life
Real change doesn’t come from forcing yourself to be perfect or trying to fix everything overnight. It begins with small moments of awareness, pausing long enough to listen to that quiet inner voice, asking honest questions about what feels true for you, and giving yourself permission to honor it.
With Love and Gratitude,
Jay Shetty
JAY’S DAILY WISDOM DELIVERED STRAIGHT TO YOUR INBOX
Join 900,000+ readers discovering how small daily shifts create big life change with my free newsletter. Subscribe here: https://news.jayshetty.me/subscribe
Check out our Apple subscription to unlock bonus content of On Purpose! https://lnk.to/JayShettyPodcast
What We Discuss:
00:00 Intro
00:41 Why Do We Care So Much About Others’ Opinions?
03:10 Learning to Love People the Way They Need
04:53 How Childhood Shapes Our Need for Approval
06:46 The Dangerous Belief: “I’m Only Valuable If…”
11:02 Why Do We Feel Guilty When We Rest?
12:37 What Stress Is Really Doing to Your Brain and Body
16:19 Saying “No” Is Essential for Your Wellbeing
21:05 The Power of Asking Yourself Honest Questions
23:44 How to Listen to Your Gut Again
29:52 A Live Compassionate Inquiry Session
33:23 Your Healing Is Helping Your Children
35:08 Trusting the Wisdom Already Inside You
36:53 Your Coping Mechanisms Aren’t Failures
40:11 Turning Past Mistakes Into Lessons
41:45 Balancing Self-Improvement and Self-Acceptance
47:54 The Question That Can Change Your Life
Episode Resources:
Website | https://drgabormate.com/
YouTube | https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCsRF06lSFA8zV9L8_x9jzIA
Facebook | https://www.facebook.com/drgabormate
Instagram | https://www.instagram.com/gabormatemd/
X | https://x.com/drgabormate
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Many of us have been on countless dead-end dates, excited by the wrong people, overlooking the right ones, and left wondering why finding a healthy relationship still feels so complicated.
Jay sits down with behavioral scientist and dating coach Logan Ury to explore why modern dating feels harder than ever and what we can actually do to build meaningful relationships in a world full of options. Together, they unpack the hidden psychology behind attraction, the myths we believe about “the spark,” and how dating apps have changed the way we evaluate potential partners. Logan shares how many people unknowingly sabotage their chances at love by chasing instant chemistry instead of long-term compatibility, reminding us that the strongest relationships are often built through curiosity, emotional safety, and shared values rather than immediate intensity.
Jay and Logan also dive into the patterns that keep people stuck in cycles of disappointing relationships. From the pressure to find the “perfect” partner to the fear of vulnerability, they discuss how modern dating culture can create unrealistic expectations. Logan explains the difference between people who date intentionally and those who drift through relationships without clarity, and why small mindset shifts, like asking better questions, focusing on growth potential, and recognizing emotional availability, can dramatically change our outcomes. The conversation highlights how understanding our own habits, attachment styles, and communication patterns can help us show up more authentically in love.
In this episode you'll learn:
How to Stop Chasing the Wrong People
How to Look Beyond the First Date Spark
How to Choose Compatibility Over Chemistry
How to Date with Clear Intentions
How to Avoid the “Maximizer” Dating Trap
How to Ask Better Questions on Dates
How to Build Attraction That Grows Over Time
How to Date in a World of Endless Options
If dating has ever made you feel discouraged, confused, or like you’re falling behind, you’re not alone. Building a meaningful relationship in today’s world can feel overwhelming, but the truth is that love isn’t about finding someone perfect, it’s about finding someone willing to grow with you.
What are your dating blind spots? Take the quiz to find out! www.loganury.com/quiz
If you’re ready to understand your patterns in love and build healthier relationships, check out How to Not Die Alone. Click here to order: https://www.amazon.com/How-Not-Die-Alone-Surprising/dp/1982120622
With Love and Gratitude,
Jay Shetty
JAY’S DAILY WISDOM DELIVERED STRAIGHT TO YOUR INBOX
Join 900,000+ readers discovering how small daily shifts create big life change with my free newsletter. Subscribe here.
Check out our Apple subscription to unlock bonus content of On Purpose! https://lnk.to/JayShettyPodcast
What We Discuss:
00:00 Intro
01:11 The Problem with Modern Dating Expectations
04:16 The Three Types of Daters
06:30 Do You Believe In a Soulmate?
08:20 Why Dating Burnout Is So Common
10:23 Why Does Dating Feel So Difficult Today?
14:04 Why Hustle Culture Fails in Dating
15:46 Two Ways to Approach Dating Intentionally
18:52 What Is “Chalant” Dating?
21:35 When Rejection Becomes Content
24:12 The Rise of a Hesitant Generation
26:01 Why We’re Afraid to Make a Move
27:14 The Challenge of Male Vulnerability
29:23 Why Rejection Feels So Personal
32:21 The Fear of Choosing the Wrong Person
38:01 What Actually Predicts Long-Term Relationship Success?
44:36 The Biggest Lie We’re Told About Love
47:13 The Myth of the Movie-Moment First Meeting
49:22 Are Dating Apps Making Us Replaceable?
50:19 Start by Fixing Your Dating Profile
53:58 How to Optimize Your Dating Profile
01:08:07 Make It Easy for People to Engage with You
01:10:01 What Is Friction-Maxing?
01:12:11 “Rose Jail” on Hinge
01:15:58 Choosing a Partner Takes Real Effort
01:17:13 Do You Believe in “Right Person, Wrong Time?”
01:18:22 Are People Giving Up Too Quickly on Love?
01:19:57 Post Date Eight
01:23:35 How Do You Define Love?
01:25:15 Is Love Alone Enough?
01:26:24 Falling in Love vs. Being in Love
01:27:50 What Truly Makes a Great Partner?
01:29:18 Are Your Standards Too High?
01:31:19 Understanding the “Ick”
01:35:23 This or That: Love Edition
01:40:36 Logan on Final Five
Episode Resources:
Website | https://www.loganury.com/
Instagram | https://www.instagram.com/loganury
LinkedIn | linkedin.com/in/loganury/
The Later Daters: https://www.netflix.com/ph-en/title/81665880
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Jay explores a moment many of us know all too well, walking into a room full of strangers and instantly feeling small, anxious, or out of place. Instead of assuming something is wrong with you, he reframes it through what’s actually happening in the brain. In those moments, your brain shifts into protection mode. It starts scanning for social threats and triggers a stress response. When that happens, the very things that help you connect, what to say, how to be yourself, how to feel at ease, can suddenly feel harder to access. What we often call awkwardness or insecurity isn’t really about who you are, it's your nervous system doing its job, trying to protect you from rejections.
Jay then reframes social confidence in a powerful way: connection isn’t about impressing people, it’s about helping them feel comfortable around you. He shares seven practical shifts, like arriving with intention instead of expectations, calming your nervous system, staying genuinely curious, and focusing on the first few moments of interaction, to show that authentic presence is far more magnetic than charisma. Research shows that people are drawn to those who make them feel heard and understood, and the simple act of asking thoughtful follow-up questions can dramatically increase likability and connection. Instead of trying to be the most interesting person in the room, the real secret is becoming the most interested.
In this episode, you'll learn:
How to Calm Your Nervous System Before Social Events
How to Make People Feel Safe Around You Instantly
How to Make a Powerful First Impression in Seconds
How to Position Yourself to Meet More People Naturally
How to Make People Feel Heard and Valued
If social situations have ever made you feel anxious, awkward, or unsure of yourself, remember this: nothing is wrong with you. Your brain is simply doing what it was designed to do, protect you. What people truly respond to is presence, curiosity, and the feeling of being genuinely seen.
With Love and Gratitude,
Jay Shetty
JAY’S DAILY WISDOM DELIVERED STRAIGHT TO YOUR INBOX
Join 900,000+ readers discovering how small daily shifts create big life change with my free newsletter.Subscribe here: https://news.jayshetty.me/subscribe
What We Discuss:
00:00 Intro
02:44 Do You Feel Anxious in New Social Settings?
05:47 #1: Replace Expectation with an Intention
08:07 #2: Be the First to Provide a Safe Space
11:42 #3: Stop Trying to Be Interesting & Be Interested
15:02 #4: Master the Art of the First Ten Seconds
18:16 #5: Use the Power of Proximity and Positioning
21:15 #6: Give People a Role
23:58 #7: Leave Before You're Done
26:27 Social Confidence Isn't About Impressing People
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.