Delusional Diaries

• besties but never roomies

  Halley and Jaz are back behind the mics, and this week’s episode is giving full chaotic bestie energy. what starts as a tiny texting disagreement spirals into a hilarious deep dive on friendship etiquette, unread messages, and why “one sec” almost never means one second. if you’ve ever wanted to scream at your friends through the phone, you’re going to feel very seen.but of course, it wouldn’t be Delusional Diaries without some unhinged detours. between questionable snack choices, roommate horror stories, and a rant or two about unsolicited opinions, the girls manage to turn even the most random topics into comedy gold. somewhere in the middle of the chaos, there are moments of raw honesty about health, moods, and how to stay sane when life insists on being annoying.by the end, you’ll feel like you’ve been on FaceTime with your two funniest (and most brutally honest) friends. from pop culture hot takes to delusional rants that will have you laughing out loud, this episode is messy, dramatic, and exactly the kind of therapy session you didn’t know you needed. buckle up, press play, and enjoy.Timestamps0:16 - Jaz has been annoying Halley3:52 - Jaz’s bitching hour 5:25 - The lunch on everyone's FYP10:12 - What is Halley so excited about 20:19 - Tate McCrae concert 22:11 - Pop culture couples36:22 - Our overweight dogs 45:43 - The question we always getLinks DraftKings: Download the app and use code DIARIES Nuuly: Sign up with code DELUSIONAL to get $28 off your first month SeatGeek: Use code DELUSIONAL10 for 10% off your tickets Wayfair: https://www.wayfair.com/ZocDoc: http://Zocdoc.com/diaries See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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• everyone is parasocial (even us)

  your favorite duo is back this week: Halley and Jaz dive straight into the week’s wildest headline, Taylor and Travis are officially engaged. the two spiral into full-on parasocial mode, breaking down everything from the shock of a collab post announcement to imagining what the wedding guest list and security would even look like. Jaz jokes about becoming a bodyguard, Halley debates whether it will be a mega-celebrity event or a secret ceremony, and both of them can’t help but laugh at just how invested they’ve become in a couple they’ve never met.from there, the conversation flows into a whirlwind of personal updates. Jaz vents about the chaos of her home renovations, accidentally sending the most questionable texts to her contractor, and realizing just how much fences cost in Long Island. health takes center stage as well as Halley navigates her workout routine and spray tan obsession, and as the two debate TikTok’s “pale girl exposure therapy” trend, listeners get a raw and hilarious look at how they balance wellness, vanity, and everything in between.as always, the episode is packed with their signature hilarious banter. they go off about awkward gynecologist appointments, friendship trio politics when it comes to picking a maid of honor, a specific chaotic experience at a bathhouse that ended in no massage, and the bizarre etiquette breaches they’ve witnessed at influencer events like the US Open. add in puppy potty-training wins and the iconic story of Halley accidentally doubting herself about James Marsden literally living across the street, and you’ve got a jam-packed episode full of laughter, relatability, and the kind of storytelling only Halley and Jaz can deliver.Timestamps 0:18 - Celebrating the royal engagement6:34 - Halley’s health updates13:20 - Pale girl exposure therapy 18:17 - Gyno appointments and drinking water22:35 - Maid of honor controversy 26:40 - Haircuts and husbands 29:46 - “Not looking for a husband, but looking for a father”35:19 - Stacy updates 40:29 - Providing context 45:53 - The US OpenLinks DraftKings: Download the app and sign up with code DELUSIONALSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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• the truth is…

  Halley and Jaz are back this week with a jam-packed episode that swings from fair food to full-on meltdowns. Jaz shares her whirlwind trip to Alaska for the state fair, complete with nostalgia, fried food, and accidentally getting the best sleep of her life in a bunk bed. meanwhile, the two catch up on home life, debating bed sizes, dogs hogging the sheets, and how to actually get a night of rest in New York City.the conversation takes a raw turn when Halley opens up about her ulcerative colitis and recent colonoscopy. from the stress of prepping, to her full-blown panic at the hospital, to adjusting to new medications, she doesn’t hold back about how draining chronic illness can be. Jaz balances things out with her never-ending food cravings, late-night kitchen raids, and even considering Ozempic just to quiet the “food noise.”also, the girls spiral over Camp Rock versus Camp Star, rant about bizarre internet drama, Jaz’s dog’s very unfortunate medical moment, and of course dive into Taylor Swift theories and the very infamous podcast appearance. this episode is chaotic, it’s candid, and it’s exactly the kind of unfiltered girl talk you come here for every week.Timestamps0:18 - Jet lagged and our trip to Madrid 6:06 - Alaska State Fair 9:45 - Loves a frozen face 15:09 - Halley’s health updates 34:31 - The girl who fell in love with her psychiatrist36:01 - The food noise 38:47 - What happened to Frank42:10 - Camp Rock: The Final Jam46:58 - The Life of a ShowgirlLinksSeatGeek: Use our code for 10% off your next SeatGeek order*: https://seatgeek.onelink.me/RrnK/DELUSIONAL10 Sponsored by SeatGeek. *Restrictions apply. Max $20 discountGourmand Beauty; Delusional10 for 10% off your order https://www.gourmandbeauty.com/?srsltid=AfmBOoo99sl3FDzLjvj-aJ_UORzzdaxXkOk8eD1uR6aalqo0yChup-3wSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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  57:37
• you’ve changed (and that’s okay)

  this week on Delusional Diaries, Halley and Jaz kick things off with a hilarious deep dive into Halley’s ongoing coffee conspiracy. After her viral latte video, she’s convinced her local shop is purposely sabotaging her order: burnt espresso, missing flavors, the works. from Uber Eats hacks to wondering if the baristas secretly hate her, it’s a full caffeine-fueled saga that sets the tone for the episode’s blend of comedy and chaos.the conversation spirals into astrology, creative burnout, and a bit of a look into the realities of influencer life. the girls get real about how nonstop travel, brand deals, and constant pressure to create can drain inspiration, while also reflecting on how much their lives have evolved since they started. they open up about balancing relationships, fighting scarcity mindsets, and handling criticism from people who say they’ve “changed.” it’s like something inbetween a vent session and candid insight into what it’s really like behind the curated feeds.to wrap things up, they switch gears with nostalgic back-to-school memories, playground favorites, and even the rise and fall of silly bandz and Webkinz. plus, they answer a listener dilemma about guy best friends crossing the line and imagine the ultimate “day from hell” itinerary in New York City. from childhood flashbacks to savage hypotheticals, this episode is messy, unfiltered, and oh-so Delusional Diaries.Timestamps 0:24 - Salted Tahini Latte Drama3:52 - Our August Horoscopes, busy lives, and thoughts on influencer marketing 21:56 - Back to school 34:57 - SillyBandz & our favorite trends from school41:46 - A question from our listener 43:04 - A NYC day from Hell See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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  49:16

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  49:16
• our safe space

  this week on Delusional Diaries, Halley and Jaz take you through a whirlwind of updates, laughs, and a little chaos. from Jaz’s candid talk about body changes and jean sizes to Halley’s Montauk staycation complete with beach views, shark sightings, and wild Hampton crowds, they share all their recent shenanigans… they also share why their Costa Rica trip got canceled, swap stories about festival life, Jaz fresh from Lollapalooza, and break down the extremes fans go to for barricade spots. between packed coffee shop lines, overpriced party tickets, and Surf Lodge’s impossible entry rules, the girls keep it real about what’s worth the hype and what’s not.the episode then dives into the realities of influencer life, as they discuss why people hold creators to a higher standard than their own friends and the bizarre nitpicks that show up in comment sections. from defending a lighthearted dog joke to tackling the “no benefit of the doubt” culture online, Halley and Jaz aren’t afraid to call out the double standards they face. they also touch on messy friendship politics: like suddenly seeing your ex-friend post with someone they used to trash...of course, it wouldn’t be Delusional Diaries without a crash-out rant or two. Jaz unleashes on West Elm’s customer service nightmare, and her newest addition to her family. there’s also talk of vision checks without insurance, LASIK horror and success stories, and mutual squeamishness over needles. it’s a full ride of personal drama, lighthearted banter, and the kind of unfiltered storytelling that makes you feel like you’re in the room with them!Timestamps0:24 - Jaz’s new info 2:38 - The Hamptons this summer 10:49 - All things music festivals 14:20 - Back to Alaska 17:30 - Holding influencers to a higher standard than your own friends?22:50 - Posting your 7th grade opp on your Instagram story? 24:22 - Bitching hour 38:27 - Jaz’s biggest crashout of all timeLinks SeatGeek: Use code delusional10 for 10% off your next SeatGeek order https://seatgeek.onelink.me/RrnK/DELUSIONAL10 Sponsored by SeatGeek. *Restrictions apply. Max $20 discountSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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