Disordered: Anxiety Help

In this episode, Josh and Drew discuss a common hurdle in anxiety recovery: the desire to "win" against your anxiety. For many, especially those with perfectionist tendencies, anxiety is viewed as an adversary that has taken something away. This leads to a constant, habitual checking to see if the anxiety is gone, which inadvertently keeps you stuck in a cycle of monitoring and frustration.
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Want to talk about this episode with us and interact with others that are sharing your experience?
https://disordered.fm/community
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We look at why defining recovery as a "win" can be counterproductive.
The Lack of Closure: Unlike a sports match, there is no final bell or celebration when you recover. Recovery often just peters out until you realize you haven't thought about how you feel in weeks.

Examination Compulsions: When you are hell-bent on winning, you might find yourself checking how you feel 50 times a day. Because anxiety involves a doubt response, even a "good" check is often met with more doubt, leading to increased frustration.

The Perfectionist Hurdle: Perfectionists often want to get recovery "exactly right," looking for a certificate or absolute proof that the battle is over.

We explore the idea that true progress isn't measured by the absence of symptoms, but by your willingness to experience them.
Surrender vs. Resistance: While "winning" implies a fight, recovery is found in surrender—not to the anxiety, but to the reality of the moment.

Functional Impact: We discuss measuring success by how much you are living your life, regardless of how you feel. If an adrenaline spike used to stop you for a week and now it only stops you for an hour, that is progress.

The Paradox of Recovery: You know you are winning when you stop asking if you are winning.

We share inspiring stories from our community members who practiced these principles.
The 5K Race: A listener shares how she completed a 5K and set a personal best despite dealing with stomach cramps and the urge to stop.

The London Trip: A community member discusses traveling to London and using the tube while experiencing high anxiety and physical sensations, choosing to lean into the discomfort to attend an important event.

The Wedding Day: A past caller shares her experience of getting married while navigating Relationship OCD (ROCD), proving that you can have a beautiful, meaningful day even when your internal experience is difficult.

Ultimately, the win isn't when the anxiety leaves; the win is when it doesn't matter that it's there.
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The Disordered Guide to Health Anxiety is now available. If you're struggling with health anxiety, this book is for you.
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Struggling with worry and rumination that you feel you can't stop or control? Check out ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Worry and Rumination Explained⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠, a two hour pre-recorded workshop produced by Josh and Drew. The workshop takes a deep dive into the mechanics of worrying and ruminating, offering some helpful ways to approach the seemingly unsolvable problem of trying to solve seemingly unsolvable problems.
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Want to ask us questions, share your wins, or get more information about Josh, Drew, and the Disordered podcast? Send us an email or leave a voicemail on our website.

Let's start with a success story from the UK. While being medically monitored for four hours, our listener realized how much attention she was giving to her physical symptoms. Her story highlights the difference between noticing a sensation and compulsively monitoring it.
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Want to talk about this episode and interact with others that share your experience in a supportive and encouraging environment? Check the Disordered Community space:
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Which leads us to a conversation about the urge to ALWAYS talk about how you feel - either out loud or silently in an internal dialogue.
We discuss the "telling compulsion," which is a common behavior for those struggling with anxiety and OCD. This is the urge to immediately report every physical sensation or intrusive thought to someone else.
The Safety Seek: Telling others how you feel is often a safety behavior used to gain temporary reassurance.

The "Problem Shared" Myth: While talking about emotions is generally seen as healthy, in the context of an anxiety disorder, it can become a repetitive loop that keeps the brain in a state of high alert.

Internal Monitoring: You don't have to say it out loud for it to be a compulsion. Constantly checking in with yourself and asking "how do I feel now?" is the internal version of the same behavior.

Conventional wisdom suggests you should always express your feelings. However, for someone with an anxiety disorder, focusing intensely on every "buzz" in the head or "jelly leg" sensation actually reinforces the idea that these feelings are dangerous.
Therapeutic Missteps: We acknowledge that even therapists are sometimes trained to push clients to "probe" and "feel more deeply" into sensations that are actually just symptoms of a misfiring threat response.

The Goal of Discernment: Recovery involves learning when it is productive to talk about an emotion (like anger from a fight with a partner) and when it is better to disengage from a physical anxiety symptom.

A few key principles you may bring with you from this episode:
Labeling Feelings: People often wrap every emotion in the label of "anxiety." You are allowed to feel angry, sad, or even happy without it being a "symptom" that needs to be reported.

Psychological Flexibility: Recovery is about learning to be with difficult internal experiences rather than trying to control or prevent them.

The Amygdala: Constantly talking about your anxiety to seek relief keeps your threat response turned on.

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The Disordered Guide to Health Anxiety is now available. If you're struggling with health anxiety, this book is for you.
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Struggling with worry and rumination that you feel you can't stop or control? Check out ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Worry and Rumination Explained⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠, a two hour pre-recorded workshop produced by Josh and Drew. The workshop takes a deep dive into the mechanics of worrying and ruminating, offering some helpful ways to approach the seemingly unsolvable problem of trying to solve seemingly unsolvable problems.
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Want to ask us questions, share your wins, or get more information about Josh, Drew, and the Disordered podcast? Send us an email or leave a voicemail on our website.

Have you ever felt like a supermarket was a high-stakes obstacle course you just couldn’t wait to escape? In this episode of Disordered, Josh and Drew dive deep into a struggle that almost everyone with an anxiety disorder knows well: anxiety in the supermarket or grocery store.

Whether it is the harsh fluorescent lighting, the narrow aisles, or the trapped feeling of standing in a long checkout queue, the grocery store is often a primary trigger for panic and agoraphobia. We discuss why this mundane chore feels so confronting and share our own personal histories of running out of stores and abandoning shopping carts.

Sensory Overload: Why the music, lights, and crowds create a maelstrom for the anxious brain.

The Exit Mentality: The habit of scanning for fire exits and the urge to rush through shopping as a hit and run experience.

Cognitive Sequencing: The difficulty of making simple decisions when your brain is stuck in panic mode.

Real Success Stories: We share a did it anyway from a listener who navigated a new store despite her agoraphobia.

Practical Strategies: Why trying to think logically does not work in the moment and how to practice willful tolerance instead.

We also touch on the 7% Slower rule and how intentionally slowing down your physical pace can teach your brain that you are not actually in danger. If you have ever felt like reality was collapsing while you were just trying to buy ingredients for lasagna, this episode is for you.
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Want to talk about what you heard today? We're hanging out in the Disordered community space:
https://disordered.fm/community
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The Disordered Guide to Health Anxiety is now available. If you're struggling with health anxiety, this book is for you.
-----
Want to ask us questions, share your wins, or get more information about Josh, Drew, and the Disordered podcast? Send us an email or leave a voicemail on our website.

Want to talk about what you heard here? We're hanging out in the Disordered community space:
https://disordered.fm/community
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This episode of Disordered dives into the concept of sneaky compulsions. Many people struggling with anxiety or OCD often find themselves performing behaviors that they do not immediately recognize as compulsions. These can look like productive research, seeking reassurance through a joke, or even "checking" to see if you still feel calm.

Drew and Josh discuss how these behaviors are often avoidance or escape mechanisms in disguise. Whether it is asking a therapist if you are the worst case they have ever seen or using AI to obsess over a body sensation, these actions are designed to provide short term relief while keeping you stuck in the anxiety cycle.

Key topics covered in this episode:
* Why we mask compulsions as personality traits or curiosity.
* The "reassurance seeker's workaround" of projecting issues onto others.
* How gathering more information can actually be a form of avoidance.
* Real life examples from the community about catching sneaky compulsions in the moment.
* The importance of psychological flexibility and learning to be with difficult feelings instead of trying to fix them.

---
The Disordered Guide to Health Anxiety is now available. If you're struggling with health anxiety, this book is for you.
---
Struggling with worry and rumination that you feel you can't stop or control? Check out ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Worry and Rumination Explained⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠, a two hour pre-recorded workshop produced by Josh and Drew. The workshop takes a deep dive into the mechanics of worrying and ruminating, offering some helpful ways to approach the seemingly unsolvable problem of trying to solve seemingly unsolvable problems.
---
Want to ask us questions, share your wins, or get more information about Josh, Drew, and the Disordered podcast? Send us an email or leave a voicemail on our website.

Want to talk about what you heard today? Check out the Disordered Community space:
https://disordered.fm/community
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In this milestone episode of Disordered, we discuss the concepts in Josh's upcoming book. The conversation focuses on the gaps in anxiety recovery and the modern hurdles that prevent people from effectively practicing desensitization.

They break down how the obsession with "optimization" and the "wellness brosphere" often becomes a distraction from the actual work of recovery. Using case studies from the book, they examine the different ways people try to avoid vulnerability by using hacks or curated identities.

CASE STUDIES:

Magnus: A young man with agoraphobia who tries to "alpha" his way out of his annex. He relies on supplements and wellness protocols rather than facing the fear directly.

Lia Su: A wellness influencer who hides severe OCD behind a perfect online persona. Her story explores how making mental health an identity can lead to more avoidance.

Ruben Kane: A retired boxer dealing with gambling issues and the shame of no longer feeling like the tough guy. His story looks at how anxiety can infiltrate a singular identity.

Miriam: A student therapist learning to navigate imposter syndrome. Josh and Drew discuss why self doubt is actually a valuable tool for growth and curiosity.

CORE CONCEPTS

Delayed Gratification: This explores the struggle to be patient in a world where everything else is instant.

Vulnerability: Recovery involves moving away from fixing or regulating and moving toward being okay with being afraid.

The Gaps: This involves identifying the subtle things we do that keep us stuck in the anxiety cycle.

Real Fear vs Real Danger: This episode emphasizes that while the fear you feel is real, you are not in actual danger.

Psychological Flexibility: You benefit more from learning to be with difficult internal experiences like anxiety and fear rather than trying to control or prevent them.

Gradual Progress: Recovery is about taking small, practical steps rather than looking for a magic solution.

BOOK INFORMATION
Josh’s new book, Same Time Next Week, is available for pre order. If you pre order before May 14th, you can receive an exclusive ebook on intrusive thoughts and a morning anxiety audio guide.

---
The Disordered Guide to Health Anxiety is now available. If you're struggling with health anxiety, this book is for you.
---
Struggling with worry and rumination that you feel you can't stop or control? Check out ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Worry and Rumination Explained⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠, a two hour pre-recorded workshop produced by Josh and Drew. The workshop takes a deep dive into the mechanics of worrying and ruminating, offering some helpful ways to approach the seemingly unsolvable problem of trying to solve seemingly unsolvable problems.
-----
Want to ask us questions, share your wins, or get more information about Josh, Drew, and the Disordered podcast? Send us an email or leave a voicemail on our website.