How To Fail With Elizabeth Day

It was a privilege to have one of my all-time heroes, the feminist activist, writer and icon Gloria Steinem on How to Fail back in 2020 and we are heartbroken to hear of her passing at the age of 92. To celebrate her life, we’re re-releasing this very special episode.

We talked about her failure to understand her mother, her failure to be at her father's deathbed and her failure to learn lessons quickly enough - yes, we go deep... She also talked to me about how (then) at the age of 86, she is joyfully outliving society's expectations of her; of how fear can often be a sign of growth (let that sink in), about how 'anger is an energy cell', about how we are 'linked not ranked', about not having children, about spending a lifetime combatting misogyny and racism and sexism and injustice, and about the counteracting forces of love and compassion and friendship which keep her going.

Whoever said never meet your heroes clearly never met Gloria Steinem.

We love you Gloria Steinem, rest in power.

How to Fail is an Elizabeth Day and Sony Music Entertainment Production.

Find more great podcasts from Sony Music Entertainment at sonymusic.com/podcasts

To bring your brand to life in this podcast, email podcastadsales@sonymusic.com

Guest bookings for How To Fail only come from official @sonymusic.com emails

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David Sedaris is one of America’s best-loved humorists, famous for turning the absurdities of everyday life into razor-sharp, deeply human essays. He joins Elizabeth Day on How to Fail to talk about the moments that have shaped him: from dropping out of university and ending up in his parents’ basement at 20, to being thrown out by his father and growing up with a parent who seemed to actively invest in his failure.

He talks candidly about heartbreak after a breakup at 32, the fear of being alone, grief at losing the people we love and his past crystal meth addiction and sobriety.

We also hear about the embarrassment of dropping out of Japanese school in Tokyo at 50…and the possibility of a cameo on The Archers.

IN THIS EPISODE:

00:00 Intro

03:39 How His Writing Evolved

04:27 Train Music Confrontation

07:03 Failure One: Dropping Out

10:38 A Father Rooting Against Him

13:16 Money Promises and Betrayal

18:03 Thrown Out and Self Worth

20:31 Friendship and Grief

23:22 Failure Two: Breakup at 32

27:38 Writing Love And Routine

28:46 Sharon The Practical Mom

33:08 Heartbreak Versus Grief

35:54 Crystal Meth And Fear

38:59 Conceptual Art On Fire

40:24 Tokyo Japanese School Quit

46:08 The Archers Cameo

💬 QUOTES TO REMEMBER:

“I just took every bit of advice [my father] ever gave me and did the opposite, and it was a really good strategy.”

“Fear kept me drinking. Fear kept me smoking. Fear kept me from leaving.”

“You’re never going to get what you want if you don’t work for it.”

“Every day is a new beginning.”

🔗 LINKS + MENTIONS:

The Land and Its People by David Sedaris is widely available across both online retailers and physical bookstores in the US and the UK.

Join the How To Fail community: www.howtofail.supportingcast.fm/#content

Elizabeth’s Substack: www.theelizabethday.substack.com

📚 WANT MORE?

Dawn French - on fertility, friendship and being an anti-perfectionist http://swap.fm/l/NJDrzxLKhyi6icOrxmHT

Simon Cowell - on judgement, power and the uncomfortable responsibility of shaping someone’s future http://swap.fm/l/hSwuCNEuZNgnaG20v0yB

💌 LOVE THIS EPISODE?

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👋 Follow How To Fail & Elizabeth:

Instagram: @elizabday

TikTok: @howtofailpod

Podcast Instagram: @howtofailpod

Website: www.elizabethday.org

Elizabeth and David answer listener questions in our subscriber series, Failing with Friends. Join our community of subscribers here: https://lnk.to/7i0moR

Have a failure you’re trying to work through for Elizabeth to discuss? Click here to get in touch: askhowtofail.com

Production & Post Production Coordinator: Eric Ryan

Engineer: Matias Torres

Assistant Producer: Shania Manderson

Senior Producer: Hannah Talbot

Executive Producer: Alex Lawless

How to Fail is an Elizabeth Day and Sony Music Entertainment Production.

Find more great podcasts from Sony Music Entertainment at sonymusic.com/podcasts

To bring your brand to life in this podcast, email podcastadsales@sonymusic.com

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

This episode with Mo Gawdat originally went out in 2019, but its message feels as relevant as ever. We’re re-releasing it to celebrate the 500th episode of How to Fail.

Just occasionally, you meet someone who changes the way you think about the world. That’s what happened when Elizabeth met Mo Gawdat, former Chief Business Officer at Google X, who spent years trying to solve a problem that seemed impossible to quantify: how can one individual be happy?

After 12 years of research, Gawdat developed an algorithm for happiness: happiness is greater than or equal to your perception of the events in your life, minus your expectations of how life should be. He wrote about it in his international bestseller Solve for Happy.

But that algorithm was put to the ultimate test when his beloved 21-year-old son, Ali, died in tragic circumstances. Mo joins me to talk about grief and depression, happiness as a form of fitness, coping with break-ups, the isolating effects of social media, why life is like a computer game, the illusion of time - and why we should always be polite to Siri.

IN THIS EPISODE:

00:00 Intro

03:23 Success Yet Depressed

06:14 Chasing Stuff for Joy

07:22 Engineering Happiness Reset

11:37 Six Modern Illusions

15:17 Happiness as Equation

20:35 Taming Your Inner Voice

28:51 Useful vs Joyful Thoughts

29:55 Grief Without Suffering

31:02 Ali Lived Reframing

32:47 Life as a Video Game

35:02 Halo Lessons on Purpose

40:13 Preventable Death and Resentment

45:09 Tech Promise and AI Risk

55:26 1 Billion Happy Mission

LINKS + MENTIONS:

Join the How To Fail community: www.howtofail.supportingcast.fm/#content

Elizabeth’s Substack: www.theelizabethday.substack.com

WANT MORE?

Mo Gawdat’s episode from 2025 -

Dr Gabor Maté -

LOVE THIS EPISODE?

Subscribe on Spotify, Apple or wherever you get your podcasts

Leave a 5⭐ review – it helps more people discover these stories

Follow How To Fail & Elizabeth:

Instagram: @elizabday

TikTok: @howtofailpod

Podcast Instagram: @howtofailpod

Website: www.elizabethday.org

Guest bookings for How To Fail only come from official @sonymusic.com emails

Have a failure you’re trying to work through for Elizabeth to discuss? Click here to get in touch: howtofailpod.com

Production & Post Production Coordinator: Eric Ryan

Engineer: Matias Torres

Assistant Producer: Shania Manderson

Senior Producer: Hannah Talbot

Executive Producer: Alex Lawless

Find more great podcasts from Sony Music Entertainment at sonymusic.com/podcasts

To bring your brand to life in this podcast, email podcastadsales@sonymusic.com

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

To mark 500 episodes of How to Fail! To we’re re-releasing the first ever episode with Phoebe Waller Bridge, which originally went out in July 2018.

Phoebe Waller-Bridge, creator and star of Fleabag, writer of Killing Eve, superstar feminist and human embodiment of a Star Wars droid, joins How To Fail to talk about how she failed at her 20s (but got lots of brilliant material from the terrible dates she endured), failing at drama school, terrible auditions (including one for Downton Abbey) and how her female best friend is quite possibly the love of her life.

She also talks about emotional vulnerability, why women fail at anger and about finding glory in one’s mistakes. There’s a great exchange about whether women should be open about whether or not they want children and a whole segue into the desirability of alabaster foreheads. Oh, and we cover the time Phoebe met Meryl Streep and embarrassed herself horribly, in what might be one of the greatest celebrity anecdotes of all time involving apple crumble.

IN THIS EPISODE:

00:00 Introduction

02:04 Sudden Fame Reality

04:33 RADA And Early Rejection

07:50 Emotional Acting Truth

08:41 Love Life Failures

13:14 Fleabag And Female Voice

18:05 Auditions Power And Ambition

25:37 Creative Lifeline Friendship

26:21 How They Met Vicky

27:40 Muses Not Mistresses

29:15 Women And Anger

30:55 Female Killers Fascination

33:20 The Babies Question

40:54 Feminism And Body Image

44:40 Celebrity Encounters Finale

LINKS + MENTIONS:

Join the How To Fail community: www.howtofail.supportingcast.fm/#content

Elizabeth’s Substack: www.theelizabethday.substack.com

WANT MORE?

Dolly Alderton - swap.fm/l/XM98joc3GFEMTsLfkEfR

Miranda Hart - swap.fm/l/oTScN30b80GflJtO4rgu

LOVE THIS EPISODE?

Subscribe on Spotify, Apple or wherever you get your podcasts

Leave a 5⭐ review – it helps more people discover these stories

Follow How To Fail & Elizabeth:

Instagram: @elizabday

TikTok: @howtofailpod

Podcast Instagram: @howtofailpod

Website: www.elizabethday.org

Guest bookings for How To Fail only come from official @sonymusic.com emails

Have a failure you’re trying to work through for Elizabeth to discuss? Click here to get in touch: howtofailpod.com

Production & Post Production Coordinator: Eric Ryan

Engineer: Matias Torres

Assistant Producer: Shania Manderson

Senior Producer: Hannah Talbot

Executive Producer: Alex Lawless

Find more great podcasts from Sony Music Entertainment at sonymusic.com/podcasts

To bring your brand to life in this podcast, email podcastadsales@sonymusic.com

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Mel Giedroyc is a comedian, writer and TV presenter who has been entertaining the nation for over 30 years.

Hired in 1996 as a writer for French and Saunders (alongside best friend Sue Perkins), Mel’s career took off and she went on to co-present hit Channel 4 series Light Lunch and Late Lunch, and then the Great British Bake Off.

Since then, Giedoryc has written a Sunday Times bestselling novel and fronts the podcast, Where There’s A Will There’s A Wake. Now she returns with a new book, The Comeback, a funny, big-hearted novel about second chances set in a community.

In this hilarious and moving episode, we talk about how she feels she is always ‘getting away with it’, life post-Bake Off, having children, not making it to her mother’s deathbed due to a big night out, and the recurring nightmare that she has never been able to shake…

IN THIS EPISODE:

00:00 Introduction

02:55 Getting Away With It

05:43 Bake Off

08:43 Life After Bake Off

09:45 The Comeback Novel

10:21 Theatre And Family Roots

17:18 Cambridge Degree Disaster

28:49 Mums Deathbed Regret

30:46 Strokes And Stolen Years

32:05 Boozy Night Missed Call

36:10 Work As Grief Shelter

39:36 Remembering Rosemary

43:50 VHS Shame Spiral

52:00 Goodbyes And Final Thoughts

LINKS + MENTIONS:

Listen to Mel’s podcast, Where There’s A Will There’s A Wake here: swap.fm/l/ZuaKfvomuCzS7P3cLJzx and watch here: https://www.youtube.com/@WhereTheresAWillTheresAWake

The Comeback is available to pre-order now: www.hachette.co.uk/titles/mel-giedroyc/the-comeback/9781472256263/

Join the How To Fail community: www.howtofail.supportingcast.fm/#content

Elizabeth’s Substack: www.theelizabethday.substack.com

WANT MORE?

Miranda Hart - swap.fm/l/oTScN30b80GflJtO4rgu

Celeste Barber - swap.fm/l/qLmwfjyeSolWuFeaHGdt

Stephen Merchant - swap.fm/l/Lta5mlFbVnPHyFb8R1n2

LOVE THIS EPISODE?

Subscribe on Spotify, Apple or wherever you get your podcasts

Leave a 5⭐ review – it helps more people discover these stories

Follow How To Fail & Elizabeth:

Instagram: @elizabday

TikTok: @howtofailpod

Podcast Instagram: @howtofailpod

Website: www.elizabethday.org

Guest bookings for How To Fail only come from official @sonymusic.com emails

Have a failure you’re trying to work through for Elizabeth to discuss? Click here to get in touch: howtofailpod.com

Production & Post Production Coordinator: Eric Ryan and Jen Mistri

Engineer: Matias Torres

Assistant Producer: Shania Manderson

Senior Producer: Hannah Talbot

Executive Producer: Alex Lawless

Find more great podcasts from Sony Music Entertainment at sonymusic.com/podcasts

To bring your brand to life in this podcast, email podcastadsales@sonymusic.com

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices