Expanding Consciousness

Nikolas and Michael get personal about masculinity and the father wound: how boys are quietly taught to suppress emotion, the difference between inheriting a parent's fear and reacting against it, and what it takes to change a pattern carried since childhood. They talk about parenting the way they wish they had been parented, loving a child for who they are rather than what they do, and the hard question of whether a relational wound can be completed without the parent. It ends on blame, grief, and the good memories worth holding onto.

00:00 Intro
00:45 Masculinity and the father wound
02:54 Looking at the father relationship for the first time
06:05 How boys get taught to suppress emotion
10:30 Masculinity as a denial of "soft" qualities
13:13 How suppression is passed down
16:40 Transmission, reaction, and the "shy kid" label
20:31 It took suffering and awareness to change
23:03 Parenting as a second-time father
26:57 Love for who you are vs what you do: the shame wound
31:47 Relational wounds and relational repair
34:23 Safety, TRE, and reparenting yourself
36:44 Can you complete a father wound without the father?
39:54 Letting go of blame
43:23 Grieving what you did not get
46:28 Wrap-up

Nikolas and Michael turn the lens on themselves and the podcast itself: the quiet fear of saying the wrong thing, where self-censorship comes from, and what honest conversation actually costs. They trace their path from software engineering into psychology, move through charged territory like COVID and polarization, and get into the strange discomfort of hearing your own voice. Nikolas introduces the "true mirror," and they land on podcasting as a kind of shadow work and a practice in staying present.

00:00 Intro
00:45 The discomfort of putting yourself out there
04:29 From software engineering to psychology
08:14 Self-censorship and the fear of saying the wrong thing
09:56 Being apolitical, and the social cost of speaking
11:55 COVID as a charged entry point
16:07 Platforms, news, and whose interests
18:10 Relaxing the self-censorship
20:35 Intention and the casual, unscripted format
23:44 Hearing your own voice: the cringe
26:39 The "true mirror": seeing yourself unflipped
29:23 Self-observation and self-acceptance
31:55 Podcasting as working on yourself
37:21 Staying present and becoming a good conversationalist
43:19 Why this should be taught, and the joy in it
45:00 Wrap-up

Michael brings his first experience of Hakomi, a gentle, mindfulness-based somatic therapy, and the two of them unpack what actually happens when the body starts to unwind on its own. They get into following impulses instead of forcing them, why a guided container helps, the discipline of allowing rather than controlling, and how exaggerating a tension can be the thing that finally releases it. Along the way: repression and chronic pain, fascia and non-directive movement, and where Hakomi sits next to TRE.

00:00 Intro
00:45 Michael's first Hakomi session
06:45 Remote vs. in-person somatic work
09:48 The body unwinding on its own: following the impulse
12:30 Why a guided container helps
16:00 Allowing vs. controlling
19:00 Expectations, impatience, and resistance
22:15 Bringing what is below awareness back online
26:45 Exaggerating a tension to release it
30:45 Repression, chronic pain, and compartmentalization
35:15 Fascia, unwinding, and not needing to know why
40:15 Aftereffects and worse before better
42:45 When it is too much: TRE and overdoing it
46:05 Hakomi vs. TRE: a tool or a whole path
48:55 Wrap-up

Megan's Website:
https://unitybreathwork.com/

In this episode of Expanding Consciousness, we sit down with Megan Ashton, founder of Unity Breathwork, to explore the transformative potential—and the responsibilities—of conscious connected breathwork.
Megan shares her deeply personal journey from addiction, disordered eating, and years of searching for healing modalities to discovering breathwork and experiencing a profound shift in her relationship with herself. We explore what actually happens during a conscious connected breathwork session, including emotional releases, altered states of consciousness, physical sensations, insights, and experiences of deep peace and clarity.

A major focus of the conversation is trauma-informed breathwork. Megan explains why agency, empowerment, nervous-system awareness, preparation, grounding, and integration are essential when working with people in highly vulnerable states. We discuss why facilitators should create space for catharsis without chasing it, how to recognize the edges of someone’s window of tolerance, and why the facilitator’s own nervous system matters.

We also dive into the role of touch, group dynamics, music, intuition, and even elements of IFS in breathwork—and question how much direction a facilitator should provide when the body’s own wisdom may know what is needed.

Timestamps
00:00 – Grounding with Conscious Breathing
03:56 – Megan’s Journey: Addiction, Disordered Eating & Searching for Healing
06:18 – Discovering Conscious Connected Breathwork
08:47 – What Is Conscious Connected Breathwork?
09:57 – Conscious Connected Breathwork vs. Wim Hof
11:46 – Why the First 15 Minutes Can Feel Difficult
13:31 – What Happens During a Breathwork Session?
15:38 – Emotional Release, Visions, Insights & Non-Ordinary States
17:14 – Why Repetition Matters for Nervous System Change
18:26 – The “Stress Bucket” & Processing Trauma Through the Body
21:14 – Do You Need to Relive Trauma to Heal It?
22:58 – Catharsis: Holding Space Without Chasing It
24:03 – Microdose vs. Macrodose Breathwork
25:23 – The Window of Tolerance & Avoiding Overwhelm
25:45 – What Actually Makes an Experience Traumatizing?
26:59 – Agency, Empowerment & Safety in Breathwork
27:33 – What Does Trauma-Informed Breathwork Look Like?
28:02 – Preparing People for Tetany & Intense Experiences
29:45 – The Importance of Grounding & Integration
30:18 – The Facilitator’s Nervous System & Creating a Safe Container
31:19 – Is Bluetooth Affected by Breathwork?
32:14 – Music, Touch, IFS & Other Breathwork Approaches
33:14 – Why Megan Prefers Live, Intuitive Facilitation
35:16 – The Power of the Group Container
36:45 – Touch, Safety & Co-Regulation
38:06 – Relational Trauma & the Role of the Facilitator
39:14 – Two Points of Consent & Reading the Body
41:13 – Why Trauma-Informed Training Matters
42:44 – Adverse Experiences in Breathwork
43:10 – Seizures, Hypoxic Blackouts & Breath-Holding
45:32 – The Risk of Combining Wim Hof Techniques with Long Breathwork Sessions
48:01 – The Bohr Effect & What Happens During Prolonged Breathwork
48:50 – Why Safety Conversations Matter
49:44 – Megan’s 450-Hour Breathwork Facilitator Training
51:07 – Professional Standards & the Wild West of Breathwork
51:51 – Red Flags When Choosing a Breathwork Facilitator
53:23 – Final Thoughts: The Power and Responsibility of Breathwork

You can do years of inner work, but if your nervous system is still organized around threat, the body keeps paying the price through stress, inflammation, and chronic pain. In this episode, trauma therapist Shari B. Kaplan (LCSW) joins Nikolas and Michael to explore how trauma lives in the body, why the nervous system holds the key to lasting healing, and what it really takes to move from surviving to thriving.

With over 30 years of clinical experience, Shari weaves together somatic awareness, Internal Family Systems, Jungian depth work, and integrative approaches to mental health. We get into the link between trauma, chronic pain, and inflammation, how to work with the nervous system instead of against it, practical tools for regulation and breathwork, and why raising the bar on what we accept as good mental health treatment matters more than ever.

Guest: Shari B. Kaplan, LCSW, Founder of Cannectd Wellness

Chapters:
0:00 Intro
0:45 Welcome & Shari's Work
5:22 Personal Journey and the Influence of Family
9:58 Plant Medicine & Integrative Healing
14:31 Integrating Cannabis and Ketamine in Treatment
19:02 Therapeutic Techniques and the Client Relationship
25:38 Empowering Clients Through Breathwork
28:20 Techniques for Calming the Nervous System
31:29 Navigating Resistance to Emotional Expression
34:58 Understanding Anger and Its Release
39:17 Holistic Approaches to Therapy
42:44 Reorganizing Identity and Beliefs
48:31 Integrating Therapy and Coaching