Translating ADHD

• Rebroadcast: Green Light Planning with ADHD

  This episode is a rebroadcast. Dusty has handpicked episodes from the archive to air while she and Ash are on their annual summer break. New episodes resume in September! Hosts Shelly and Cam explore green light planning this week. This is a very specific example where expectations can go awry. Green light planning is a fascinating phenomenon and is the result of several ADHD challenges. It is when we predict the most favored outcome for some future event like catching a plane with time to spare. Most people will point to challenges with time estimation. Look closer and you can see more going on here. Cam shares the example of a client trying to get to the airport and more often than not missing the departure. The client struggled with time estimation but also perpetuated a belief that he could better his best time. Furthermore, he failed to anticipate any potential delays or obstacles. Those of us with ADHD struggle to sense and anticipate variations of an outcome we create in our brain, especially the periods between events - the time between the shower, packing and eating breakfast. Specifically, this is a challenge with planning for transitions - both planned and unplanned. Emotionally we can engage in a mini ‘Zig Ziglar’ positive thinking exercise with the belief that our positive energy will somehow open an express lane to our destination. This is actually more of an emotional auto-pilot move to lock out unsavory thoughts if we are not successful in our plan. Shelly counters with her own example of ‘Red Light Planning’ and the idea of a time optimist or time pessimist. The hosts leave listeners with an exercise to have a different experience with green light planning. Episode links + resources: Join the Community | Become a Patron Our Process: Understand, Own, Translate. About Asher, Dusty and Cam For more of the Translating ADHD podcast: Episode Transcripts: visit TranslatingADHD.com and click on the episode Follow us on Twitter: @TranslatingADHD Visit the Website: TranslatingADHD.com

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• Rebroadcast: When your Partner isn’t Supporting your ADHD Journey

  This episode is a rebroadcast. Dusty has handpicked episodes from the archive to air while she and Ash are on their annual summer break. New episodes resume in September! It’s really nice when a partner is supportive and understanding as you begin your own ADHD journey of discovery. But this is not always the case. This week Cam and Shelly discuss the not so uncommon scenario when we embark on our ADHD journey without the support of our primary relationship. Years of misinformation, fear and shame can build to where the non-ADHD partner throws up their hands and says “Enough!”. It's hard to play a game when everyone is playing Texas Hold’em and we are dealt a hand of Uno but this is the case often when we are struggling to understand our own ADHD experience and when we try to translate our experience to our partners. Frustration abounds! Once ADHD is identified as a primary factor in the challenges of a relationship it can sometimes be identified as the sole dilemma. This is never the case in any relationship, yet anger, frustration and resentment build to a point where the non-ADHD partner withdraws support and vulnerability often with an ultimatum of “fix your ADHD!”. Our partners are not immune from making their own meaning and years of undiagnosed ADHD behavior - the missed events, the forgotten tasks - can build to a convincing story of “They must not care about me”.  The hosts introduce their BEANS acronym with a focus on safety, needs and agreements. A partner can’t support if their sense of safety has eroded too much. The invisibility and inconsistency of ADHD can create a sense of uncertainty and lack of safety in the relationship. Cam and Shelly discuss ways to proceed to start to dismantle the parent/child dynamic that so often happens. Shelly discusses how detaching from outcome and distinguishing ‘my stuff, their stuff, our stuff’ can be a place to start when the ADHD partner has to proceed by themselves. Ultimately through effective communication and setting independent expectations, the partners can reintroduce safety and start to rebuild trust, but there may be a moment when in fact we have to push ahead and go it alone for a spell. Episode links + resources: Join the Community | Become a Patron Our Process: Understand, Own, Translate. About Asher, Dusty and Cam For more of the Translating ADHD podcast: Episode Transcripts: visit TranslatingADHD.com and click on the episode Follow us on Twitter: @TranslatingADHD Visit the Website: TranslatingADHD.com

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• Rebroadcast: Opening the Door to Positive Emotions with ADHD

  This episode is a rebroadcast. Dusty has handpicked episodes from the archive to air while she and Ash are on their annual summer break. New episodes resume in September! This week Cam and Shelly pivot from the recent focus on negative emotions to positive emotions. Emotions are the on-off switch for action. Understanding how emotions come into play is key to motivation and taking action. Those of us with ADHD tend to over-utilize our fear neural networks or negative emotions to get things done. How often do you hear yourself prioritizing or taking action through urgency or on the greatest consequence? How often does worry, fear or anxiety inform what you are trying to do? Accessing this negative neural network too much leads to stress and health issues. Starting to access the positive neural network can help to reverse this process. Cam and Shelly start by introducing the ‘gateway’ emotions of hope and curiosity. These are the emotions that can lead to other positive emotions like trust, gratitude and love. Cam reads a letter from an appreciative listener and discusses how developing community and understanding of the dilemma can instill a sense of hope and possibility. Shelly discusses how the skill of normalizing can make someone start to understand their ADHD experience and why in coaching it is important to articulate a picture of positive success. Episode links + resources: Join the Community | Become a Patron Our Process: Understand, Own, Translate. About Asher, Dusty and Cam For more of the Translating ADHD podcast: Episode Transcripts: visit TranslatingADHD.com and click on the episode Follow us on Twitter: @TranslatingADHD Visit the Website: TranslatingADHD.com

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• Rebroadcast: Big Signal Emotions with ADHD: Blame

  Emotions are key to driving beliefs and behaviors. They also play a big part in effective ADHD management. Emotions also drive big signal responses like rejection, sensitivity or imposter syndrome. Those big signal responses can really impact our ability to identify and circumvent First Barrier dilemmas. The First Barrier of ADHD is the barrier to new awareness. Emotions like blame can cloud our judgment, disrupt our own agency and take us offline down some negative emotional rabbit holes (one of our Valley experiences). Shelly and Cam look closely at blame, one emotion they see often in their new clients, and the habit of ‘blame sponging’ or taking up all of the blame in some circumstance or situation. Emotion rarely operates alone. Black and white thinking and not seeing oneself in the picture contribute to a phenomenon of assuming all of the blame or rejecting it out of hand. Shelly and Cam share tools well known to long-time Translating ADHD listeners like curiosity and Pause Disrupt Pivot. Distinguishing our own stuff from others’ stuff and determining, through collaboration and communication, the ‘stuff in the middle’ gives us some traction with what once was a very slippery slope. Episode links + resources: Join the Community | Become a Patron Our Process: Understand, Own, Translate. About Asher, Dusty and Cam For more of the Translating ADHD podcast: Episode Transcripts: visit TranslatingADHD.com and click on the episode Follow us on Twitter: @TranslatingADHD Visit the Website: TranslatingADHD.com

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• Rebroadcast: Grieving for our Past Selves after an ADHD Diagnosis

  This episode is a rebroadcast. Dusty has handpicked episodes from the archive to air while she and Ash are on their annual summer break. New episodes resume in September! This week, Cam and Shelly dive into the topic of grieving our past selves. As coaches, we often work with people who come to us with a new ADHD diagnosis, and with that diagnosis comes new context. With that context comes both the awareness that there are real reasons that we struggle, and the grief for our past selves as we wonder what might have been different had we known sooner that we have ADHD brains. We then discuss how grieving our past selves as ADHD adults isn't a process we go through once, but rather a process that will happen many times as we do our own understand, own, and translate work. We bring in client examples and metaphors to illustrate how and when this type of grief shows up and how listeners can recognize this grief for what it is and begin to work through it. Episode links + resources: Join the Community | Become a Patron Our Process: Understand, Own, Translate. About Asher, Dusty and Cam For more Translating ADHD: Visit our website: TranslatingADHD.com Follow us on Twitter: @TranslatingADHD

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