Ask Kati Anything

Am I being manipulative, or am I just expressing how I feel? Licensed therapist Kati Morton answers 10 questions about emotional manipulation, guilt-tripping, the silent treatment, and healthy communication in relationships.

Is crying during an argument manipulative? Can you manipulate someone without realizing it? What’s the difference between setting a boundary and giving an ultimatum?

SPONSOR - Thank you to Hero Bread for sponsoring this episode! Hero Bread is offering 10% off your order. Go to https://www.hero.co/ and use code KATI at checkout

In this episode of Ask Kati Anything, we explore those uncomfortable questions, including how childhood communication patterns can follow us into adult relationships. We also discuss reassurance seeking, relationship anxiety, and why having borderline personality disorder (BPD) doesn’t automatically make someone manipulative.

I share some of my own struggles with withdrawing when I’m hurt, along with practical ways to ask for what you need, take space without shutting someone out, and repair a relationship when you’ve caused hurt. Recognizing a behavior gives us something to work on. It doesn’t have to become who we think we are.

CHAPTERS
00:00 Am I being manipulative?
01:02 What actually counts as manipulation?
08:06 Can manipulation happen without planning it?
16:21 Expressing hurt vs. guilt-tripping
24:06 Is crying during an argument manipulative?
29:24 Taking space vs. the silent treatment
32:31 Reassurance seeking and relationship anxiety
35:22 Am I repeating my parent’s guilt-tripping patterns?
38:40 BPD, fear of abandonment, and manipulation
43:22 Healthy boundaries vs. controlling ultimatums
47:55 What if I recognize these behaviors in myself?
51:24 Four questions to help break the pattern
53:30 How to apologize and repair a relationship

What’s something you’re learning to ask for directly instead of hoping someone will figure it out? Let me know in the comments. I’d love to hear what’s helping you communicate differently.

MY BOOKS
Why Do I Keep Doing This? https://geni.us/XoyLSQ
Traumatized https://geni.us/Bfak0j
Are u ok? https://geni.us/sva4iUY

ONLINE THERAPY - Enjoy 10% OFF your first month
If you're looking for a therapist, BetterHelp can connect you with a licensed online professional: https://betterhelp.com/kati

This is an affiliate link, a portion of your signup helps support the podcast at no extra cost to you.

SOCIAL
X https://twitter.com/KatiMorton
TikTok https://www.tiktok.com/@katimorton
Substack https://substack.com/@katimorton1
Facebook https://www.facebook.com/katimorton1/
Instagram https://www.instagram.com/katimorton
Pinterest https://www.pinterest.com/katimorton1/
Patreon https://www.katimorton.com/kati-morton-patreon/

PARTNERSHIPS
Nick Freeman | nick@biglittlemedia.co

Disclaimer:
The information provided in this video is for educational and informational purposes only and is not intended as medical or mental health advice. It should not be used to diagnose or treat any health problem or disease. Always consult with a qualified healthcare professional for diagnosis and treatment. Viewing this content does not establish a therapist-client relationship.

Ask Kati Anything ep. 337 | Your mental health podcast, with Kati Morton, LMFT

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Does your therapist actually care about you, or are they just good at their job? Licensed marriage and family therapist Kati Morton answers 10 of your most vulnerable questions about the therapeutic relationship, including a few you might be too embarrassed to ask.

THANK YOU TO OUR SPONSOR
Get 15% off the new OS-01 FACE Rich cream from OneSkin with code KATI at http://oneskin.co/KATI

We cover why therapy feels so one-sided, whether your therapist thinks about you between sessions, what to do when you feel attached to your therapist (or think you love them), why lying to impress your therapist is worth bringing up, how ruptures and repair work, and why your therapist can’t become your friend after therapy ends. Kati also covers what it’s like to graduate from weekly therapy, and how to ask your therapist the question that scares you most: “Do you care about me?”

If something in this episode feels familiar, bring it to your next session. In therapy, the uncomfortable stuff is often the most useful information you have.

TIMESTAMPS
00:00 Intro: is the therapeutic relationship real?
00:51 Q1: Is my therapist’s care real if I’m paying her?
05:39 Q2: Why does she know everything about me when I know nothing about her?
11:35 Why I say “patient”
13:19 Q3: Does my therapist think about me between sessions?
17:45 Q4: Why am I so attached to my therapist? (transference explained)
25:07 Q5: I lied to my therapist to impress her
29:36 Q6: My therapist said something that made me angry (ruptures and repair)
36:29 Q7: I think I love my therapist
42:18 Q8: Why can’t we be friends after therapy ends?
46:04 Q9: I’m finishing therapy, so why am I devastated?
50:40 Q10: Can I ask my therapist if they care about me?
53:10 Final thoughts

MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE
Erotic transference https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IuF9IHzVets
Ending therapy https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4NxMtG4Jp98

Kati Morton is a licensed marriage and family therapist. This video is for educational purposes and does not replace individual therapy or medical care. If you are in crisis, call or text 988 in the US, or contact your local emergency services.

MY BOOKS
Why Do I Keep Doing This? https://geni.us/XoyLSQ
Traumatized https://geni.us/Bfak0j
Are u ok? https://geni.us/sva4iUY

CHANNEL MEMBERSHIP
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCzBYOHyEEzlkRdDOSobbpvw/join

ONLINE THERAPY (10% off your first month)
If you're looking for a therapist, BetterHelp can connect you with a licensed online professional: https://betterhelp.com/kati

This is an affiliate link, which means a portion of your signup helps support the podcast at no extra cost to you.

SOCIAL
X https://twitter.com/KatiMorton
TikTok https://www.tiktok.com/@katimorton
Substack https://substack.com/@katimorton1
Facebook https://www.facebook.com/katimorton1/
Instagram https://www.instagram.com/katimorton
Pinterest https://www.pinterest.com/katimorton1/
Patreon https://www.katimorton.com/kati-morton-patreon/

PARTNERSHIPS
Nick Freeman | nick@biglittlemedia.co

Disclaimer
The information provided in this video is for educational and informational purposes only and is not intended as medical or mental health advice. It should not be used to diagnose or treat any health problem or disease. Always consult with a qualified healthcare professional for diagnosis and treatment. Viewing this content does not establish a therapist-client relationship.

Ask Kati Anything ep. 336 | Your mental health podcast, with Kati Morton, LMFT
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Understanding psychosis can feel overwhelming, but separating myths from facts helps remove the fear. In this episode of Ask Kati Anything, licensed marriage and family therapist Kati Morton breaks down what psychosis actually is, how delusions and hallucinations develop, and what recovery looks like.

Timestamps

00:00 Introduction to Psychosis and Common Misconceptions

01:47 Does Having Psychosis Mean You Have Schizophrenia?

07:07 What Does Psychosis Actually Look Like? (Hallucinations & Delusions)

14:09 Breaking Down the DSM Criteria for Schizophrenia

EPISODE SPONSOR: Looking for specialized trauma therapy? Learn more about Rebound: https://hellorebound.com/askkatianything

19:30 Hearing Your Name vs. Experiencing Real Psychosis

24:12 Grief-Induced Perceptions vs. Psychotic Episodes

27:56 What Is the Brain Doing During a Delusion?

39:59 Can Sleep Deprivation, Stress, or Drugs Cause Psychosis?

48:26 Memory Gaps and Trauma Memories During Psychosis

56:15 How to Respond to Someone Experiencing Paranoia

58:34 Is Violence Common in Psychosis? (Media vs. Reality)

01:00:52 How to Help Someone Who Lacks Insight Into Their Illness

01:03:30 Full Recovery, Early Intervention, and Managing Relapse Fear

MY BOOKS

⁠Why Do I Keep Doing This? ⁠
⁠Traumatized⁠
⁠Are u ok?⁠

ONLINE THERAPY - Enjoy 10% off your first month
If you're looking for a therapist, BetterHelp can connect you with a licensed online professional. A portion of your signup helps support the podcast at no extra cost to you.

SOCIAL

X https://twitter.com/KatiMorton
TikTok https://www.tiktok.com/@katimorton
Substack https://substack.com/@katimorton1
Facebook https://www.facebook.com/katimorton1/
Instagram https://www.instagram.com/katimorton
Pinterest https://www.pinterest.com/katimorton1/
Patreon https://www.katimorton.com/kati-morton-patreon/

PARTNERSHIPS
Nick Freeman | nick@biglittlemedia.co

Disclaimer:

The information provided in this video is for educational and informational purposes only and is not intended as medical or mental health advice. It should not be used to diagnose or treat any health problem or disease. Always consult with a qualified healthcare professional for diagnosis and treatment. Viewing this content does not establish a therapist-client relationship.

Ask Kati Anything ep. 335 | Your mental health podcast, with Kati Morton, LMFT
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

What Is Dependent Personality Disorder (DPD)? Do you struggle to make decisions without someone else’s approval? Do you constantly seek reassurance, fear being alone, or stay in unhealthy relationships because the thought of leaving feels terrifying?

In this episode of the Ask Kati Anything Podcast, licensed therapist Kati Morton takes a deep dive into Dependent Personality Disorder (DPD). We explore the official DSM-5 diagnostic criteria, how DPD differs from anxious attachment, codependency, and borderline personality disorder (BPD), why DPD develops, and practical steps to rebuild self-trust and confidence.

EPISODE SPONSOR

Specialized virtual trauma treatment is available through Rebound. Founded by survivors and psychologists, Rebound provides clinically effective trauma therapy covered by leading insurance plans: https://hellorebound.com/askkatianything

Timestamps
00:00 - Introduction: Understanding Dependent Personality Disorder (DPD)
01:31 - Q1: Am I Needy, Depressed, Traumatized, or Is It DPD? (DSM-5 Criteria)
10:30 - Q2: Capable at Work, But Indecisive at Home (Capability vs. Self-Trust)
15:15 - Q3: Asking Multiple People Before Making Decisions: Advice vs. Permission

18:54 - Advice vs. Reassurance: Finding What You Really Think
20:42 - Q4: Backtracking During Disagreements & Fear of Conflict
24:00 - Q5: Why Staying in Bad Relationships Feels Safer Than Being Alone
29:31 - Q6: Urgently Jumping Into Rebound Relationships
35:40 - Q7: DPD vs. Anxious Attachment, Codependency, BPD & Avoidant PD
44:33 - Q8: Where Does DPD Come From? (Genetics, Childhood, Overprotective Parenting)
53:32 - Q9: Why Does Reassurance Never Feel Like Enough? (The Reassurance Cycle)
56:31 - Q10: Transferring Dependency onto Your Therapist
01:02:03 - 5 Actionable Steps to Build Self-Trust and Overcome DPD

MY BOOKS

Why Do I Keep Doing This?
Traumatized
Are u ok?

ONLINE THERAPY - Enjoy 10% off your first month
If you're looking for a therapist, BetterHelp can connect you with a licensed online professional: https://betterhelp.com/kati - a portion of your signup helps support the podcast at no extra cost to you.

SOCIAL

X https://twitter.com/KatiMorton
TikTok https://www.tiktok.com/@katimorton
Substack https://substack.com/@katimorton1
Facebook https://www.facebook.com/katimorton1/
Instagram https://www.instagram.com/katimorton
Pinterest https://www.pinterest.com/katimorton1/
Patreon https://www.katimorton.com/kati-morton-patreon/

PARTNERSHIPS
Nick Freeman | nick@biglittlemedia.co

Disclaimer:

The information provided in this video is for educational and informational purposes only and is not intended as medical or mental health advice. It should not be used to diagnose or treat any health problem or disease. Always consult with a qualified healthcare professional for diagnosis and treatment. Viewing this content does not establish a therapist-client relationship.

Ask Kati Anything ep. 334 | Your mental health podcast, with Kati Morton, LMFT
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

What is a trauma bond, and why is it so hard to leave an unhealthy relationship even when you know you deserve better? In this episode, licensed marriage and family therapist Kati Morton breaks down what trauma bonds actually are, why intermittent reinforcement and the "hope trap" keep us stuck, and how to finally break free.

Timestamps

00:00 Introduction to Trauma Bonds

02:39 Shared Trauma vs. Trauma Bonds

08:22 Why You Can Miss Someone Who Treated You Terribly

12:51 Intermittent Reinforcement and the "Casino" Effect

22:10 Can You Genuinely Love Someone Who Hurts You?

26:42 Trauma Bond vs. Anxious Attachment vs. Codependency

32:55 Why Do We Keep Going Back?

39:59 Why Leaving Feels Worse at First (Cognitive Dissonance)

46:36 Childhood Trauma and Vulnerability

49:08 Grief, the Death of the Dream, and Practical Autonomy

53:03 Is "No Contact" Always Necessary? (Safety First)

56:30 How to Actually Break a Trauma Bond

MY BOOKS
Why Do I Keep Doing This? https://geni.us/XoyLSQ
Traumatized https://geni.us/Bfak0j
Are u ok? https://geni.us/sva4iUY

ONLINE THERAPY - Enjoy 10% OFF your first month!
If you're looking for a therapist, BetterHelp can connect you with a licensed online professional: https://betterhelp.com/kati
This is an affiliate link, which means a portion of your signup helps support the podcast at no extra cost to you.

SOCIAL
X https://twitter.com/KatiMorton
TikTok https://www.tiktok.com/@katimorton
Substack https://substack.com/@katimorton1
Facebook https://www.facebook.com/katimorton1/
Instagram https://www.instagram.com/katimorton
Pinterest https://www.pinterest.com/katimorton1/
Patreon https://www.katimorton.com/kati-morton-patreon/

PARTNERSHIPS
Nick Freeman | nick@biglittlemedia.co

Disclaimer:
The information provided in this video is for educational and informational purposes only and is not intended as medical or mental health advice. It should not be used to diagnose or treat any health problem or disease. Always consult with a qualified healthcare professional for diagnosis and treatment. Viewing this content does not establish a therapist-client relationship.

Ask Kati Anything ep. 334 | Your mental health podcast, with Kati Morton, LMFT
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices