Dating Intentionally

Dating comes with a lot of frustrating uncertainty. You can’t know if attraction will grow, whether someone will choose the relationship, or how another person will react when you tell them the truth. In this special 300th episode of Dating Intentionally, I’m answering your dating dilemmas about what happens when you want certainty, but the situation simply can’t give it to you yet.
We’re getting into four dating dilemmas:
How long should you give someone to warm up physically when you’re tired of making the first move?
What do you do when you’ve been telling little lies to make someone like you and now the relationship is getting more serious?
Should you give a longtime friend a romantic chance when you’re not sure the attraction is there?
How long do you wait when your partner says they need to “figure things out”?
I’m talking about...
Why trying to control the outcome can actually make dating harder
How to tell the difference between accepting someone’s pace and ignoring your own needs
Why self-worth can affect how honestly you show up when you really like someone
What to do when you’re curious about someone but don’t feel an immediate spark
Why you don’t need to play out an entire relationship in your head before you’ve even gone on one date
What “figuring things out” should actually look like inside a relationship
How to make dating decisions when you have no idea how the story will end
And because this is episode 300, I’m ending with a rapid-fire Q&A covering questions like: What’s the most underrated green flag? How do you stop obsessing over someone after it ends? Should you give up if they cancel twice without rescheduling? How do you tell someone you don’t want to text all day? And how do you stay unbothered when you know the person you’re dating is seeing other people too?

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MORE FROM DATING INTENTIONALLY
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What if dating felt less like a stressful search for your person and more like an experience you could actually enjoy? In this episode, I’m talking with Serena Kerrigan, creator and author of Let’s Fucking Date, about lowering the stakes in dating, stopping the need to control the outcome, and staying open to connections that don’t look exactly how you expected.
Serena shares how meeting her boyfriend challenged her assumptions about age, success, and what the “right” partner should look like, plus the mindset shifts that helped her stop overmanaging her dating life and actually enjoy it.
We’re getting into how to...
Use Serena’s “potential, practice, or plot” framework to make every date feel worthwhile
Stop putting so much pressure on every first date to become something
Stay open to people who don’t fit the picture you had in your head
Tell the difference between showing interest and doing too much
Give someone enough space to actually reveal how interested they are
Let go of control when dating feels uncertain
Get out of your comfort zone when your dating life feels stagnant
Stop treating self-improvement like a formula that guarantees you a relationship
Know when an “ick” is meaningful and when you might need to get a grip
Date with a more abundant mindset when age and timelines are stressing you out

THANKS TO OUR SPONSORS
😎 Zenni: Get 15% off your first order and free shipping on orders over $65
MORE FROM DATING INTENTIONALLY
Date Tracker: Start your 7-day free trial! (iOS link)
Take the quiz: What's holding you back in dating?
Say hi on Instagram
Submit a dating dilemma
Book a 1:1 with me
See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Feel like you're done wasting time on the wrong connections? I get it! In this episode, I'm breaking down seven of the most common mistakes I see people make in early dating, from dating someone's potential and staying in situationships to taking constant dating breaks, avoiding uncomfortable conversations, and being pen pals. I'm also sharing what to do differently so you can protect your time and energy and get closer to the relationship you actually want.
In this episode, you'll learn:
Why dating someone's potential can keep you invested way too long
How staying in a situationship can delay you from finding your person
Why constantly taking breaks from dating may be slowing you down and what to work on instead
How speaking up about small issues early can reveal someone's ability to handle conflict
What it means to date from your "back foot" and why it's a time waster
Why texting for weeks before meeting can create false intimacy
How to recognize red flags without confusing them with preferences
Why getting curious about someone's behavior can help you make better decisions sooner
How to stay grounded in who someone is today instead of who you hope they'll become
Plus, I answer a dating dilemma from a 40-year-old man who just learned that his new girlfriend occasionally smokes cigarettes and he's not sure what to do.
Ready to date with intention? Start your 7-day free trial of Date Tracker at thedatetracker.com! (iOS link)
MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE
Ep 260 - How to end a situationship
Ep 186 - Tips for taking a dating break
Ep 286 - Balancing effort in early dating
Ep 192 - Sneaky red flags in early dating
THANKS TO OUR SPONSORS
😎 Zenni: Get 15% off your first order and free shipping on orders over $65
MORE FROM DATING INTENTIONALLY
Say hi on Instagram
Submit a dating dilemma
Book a 1:1 with me
See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

How much is your self-worth affecting the way you date? In this episode, I’m talking with psychologist and author Dr. Marisa G. Franco about how our past experiences can shape what we believe we deserve, how we interpret rejection, and even our ability to accept love from someone who genuinely likes us. We’ll also explore what it means to build self-worth and how to stop dating from a place of fear and start going after what you want.
We’re getting into how to...
Understand the difference between self-esteem and self-worth
Recognize when you’re dating to avoid rejection instead of pursuing what you want
Understand why rejection hits some people so much harder than others
Identify old experiences that may still be shaping how you see yourself
Stop assuming someone doesn’t like you when there’s no evidence they don’t
Build self-worth by paying attention and responding to your emotions
Know when you’re seeking healthy reassurance versus outsourcing your worth to a partner
Navigate dating when you don’t feel completely confident or worthy yet

MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE
Worth: The New Science of Self-Esteem and Secure Attachment by Dr. Marisa G. Franco
Marisa's website
THANKS TO OUR SPONSORS
😎 Zenni: Get 15% off your first order and free shipping on orders over $65
MORE FROM DATING INTENTIONALLY
Ready to date with more confidence? Start your 7-day free trial of Date Tracker! (iOS link)
Take the quiz: What's holding you back in dating?
Say hi on Instagram
Submit a dating dilemma
Book a 1:1 with me

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

There's a reason you keep dating the same people in different fonts: it's your dating patterns.
In this episode, I'm sharing the three patterns I discovered while tracking my own dating life, how they were getting in the way of the relationship I actually wanted, and what I did differently once I could finally see them. I'm also walking you through a simple way to identify your own patterns and turn them into experiments so you can start getting different dating results.
In this episode, you'll learn:
What dating patterns actually are and how they can quietly influence who you choose and how you behave
Common patterns like getting attached too quickly, chasing unavailable people, staying too long, or writing people off too soon
The three dating patterns I discovered in my own dating life
Why I stopped rushing physical intimacy and started approaching sex differently
How I realized I was trying to earn affection instead of evaluating whether someone was right for me
Why consistency can feel less exciting when you're used to chasing someone's attention
How tracking my dates helped me spot behaviors I couldn't see in the moment
How to turn your own dating patterns into small experiments that help you make different choices
Plus, I answer a dating dilemma from a 41-year-old man figuring out how to start dating again after a 13-year marriage—and how to avoid falling back into old people-pleasing habits.

Ready to date with more confidence? Start your 7-day free trial of Date Tracker! (iOS link)

MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE
Episode 277 on IRL dating
What my date tracking note looked like & the emoji key
THANKS TO OUR SPONSORS
😎 Zenni: Get 15% off your first order and free shipping on orders over $65
MORE FROM DATING INTENTIONALLY
Say hi on Instagram
Submit a dating dilemma
Book a 1:1 with me
See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.