Most of us were never given a real framework for love. We learned from culture, movies, music, and social media — but lasting relationships require maturity, structure, and intentional action.
In this powerful episode, we sit down with renowned marriage coach and relationship expert to unpack the psychology and biblical foundation of healthy, lasting marriage. From his radical childhood to becoming one of Africa’s most respected voices on covenant marriage, his story is gripping. But the practical wisdom he shares on communication, emotional maturity, submission, leadership, and why most marriages struggle between years 5–10 is what will truly transform how you approach love.
Whether you’re single, dating, engaged, or married, this conversation will give you the relationship framework you were never taught.
🔥 In This Episode, We Discuss:
0:00 – Introduction0:30 – His radical childhood and salvation story3:00 – Why relationships and family matter from God’s perspective5:00 – The 3 types of marriage: Cultural, Contemporary & Covenant7:00 – Why two whole people make a marriage (not two halves)8:00 – How opposites attract, then attack, then alternate10:00 – How to know when you’re truly ready for marriage13:00 – What to do in your waiting season as a single person15:30 – Positioning yourself practically: Why it’s a numbers game19:00 – What romance actually looks like in marriage21:00 – Emotional love vs. intentional love24:00 – Love is like fire: What are you feeding it weekly?27:00 – Acting your way into feeling vs. feeling your way into acting28:00 – The 4 phases of every marriage32:00 – Starting from friendship vs. starting from sparks35:00 – Communication in marriage and understanding your “fight language”38:00 – Why women say “I feel unloved” and how men can respond42:00 – Correcting your spouse without pushing them away44:00 – The power of unity and partnership47:00 – Handling character flaws: God’s “red pill” is love49:00 – Submission and leadership: African culture vs. biblical context53:00 – Two qualities every woman should look for in a husband55:00 – Does prayer actually help your marriage work?59:00 – A word for singles this Valentine’s season
💡 Key Takeaways
Love is not just a feeling. It is a skill developed through intentional action.
Maturity, not age, determines readiness for marriage.
Emotional love has a lifespan. After that, intentional love sustains the relationship.
Most marriages struggle between years 5–10 because couples drift instead of invest.
Men are often motivated by respect and affirmation.
True submission is partnership under servant leadership.
Two whole people build a healthy marriage.
Prayer works when it transforms you, not when you ask God to change your spouse.
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📒 Important Links
Connect with PST KINGSLEY OKONKWO➡️ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/kingsleypst/
➡️ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@KingsleyOkonkwo
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Our mission at The Shining Light Showis to use the power of testimonies to inspire believers to live out their Christian faith in practical, surrendered, and Spirit-led ways.
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