Feminist Wellness

#393: People pleasing can look like compassion, generosity, and care, but what happens when it comes at the cost of your own needs?

This week, I dive into why people pleasing happens, how it becomes a pattern that shapes our relationships and sense of self, and why it can leave us feeling disconnected, resentful, and overwhelmed. I explore how these habits were often brilliant survival strategies that helped us get our needs met, while also showing how they can create challenges for us as adults.

Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://beatrizalbina.com/393

Order your copy of End Emotional Outsourcing here: https://beatrizalbina.com/book/

Follow me here: https://www.instagram.com/beatrizvictoriaalbinanp/?hl=en
Mentioned in this episode:
Join The Shift today!
You cancel plans with yourself the moment someone else needs something. You say yes when everything in you means no. You have watched yourself do it and been genuinely bewildered. The Shift is 12 weeks of structured somatic practice built around the three needs at the root of every Emotional Outsourcing pattern: safety, worth, and belonging. The same foundational methodology as Anchored, structured entirely around your own life.

Check it out here: https://feminist-wellness.captivate.fm/theshift
The Shift

Tenderoni Hotline #41: If you know you’re a people pleaser but cannot seem to stop, this episode is for you. In this Tenderoni Hotline, I answer two listener questions that go straight to the heart of emotional outsourcing and nervous system healing.

First: “I know I’m a people pleaser. How do I stop?” We explore why people pleasing is not a personality flaw or lack of boundaries. It is a nervous system adaptation. When connection felt conditional, your body learned to scan, adjust, perform, and prioritize others to stay safe. That strategy was brilliant. And now it may be exhausting.

Then we move into a second question from a listener with CPTSD who shared that words like safe, belonging, and worthy feel abstract or unreachable in their body. If that resonates, you are not alone. Nervous systems do not organize around concepts. They organize around lived experience. So we unpack what “safe enough” actually means in relational terms, how belonging often gets confused with self-erasure, and why worth is less about self-esteem and more about non-abandonment.

This work is not about forcing calm or becoming unbothered. It is about learning to stay with yourself when tension arises. It is about building safety from the inside out so you no longer have to abandon yourself to stay connected.

Got a question for the Tenderoni Hotline? Send it to me at: podcast@beatrizalbina.com

Learn more about my courses and apply here: https://www.beatrizalbina.com/courses

Follow me here: https://www.instagram.com/beatrizvictoriaalbinanp/?hl=en

#392: Have you ever wondered why routines feel impossible to maintain, even when you know they’re supposed to help you? What if the problem isn’t your discipline, motivation, or ability to be consistent, but the way you’ve been taught to structure your life?

This week, I explore the difference between ritual vs. routine and why ritual may be a more supportive framework for brains and nervous systems that don’t thrive on rigid repetition. We dive into how routines became tied to productivity and performance, while rituals help us mark time, create meaning, and reconnect with ourselves.

Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://beatrizalbina.com/392

Order your copy of End Emotional Outsourcing here: https://beatrizalbina.com/book/

Follow me here: https://www.instagram.com/beatrizvictoriaalbinanp/?hl=en
Mentioned in this episode:
Join The Shift today!
You cancel plans with yourself the moment someone else needs something. You say yes when everything in you means no. You have watched yourself do it and been genuinely bewildered. The Shift is 12 weeks of structured somatic practice built around the three needs at the root of every Emotional Outsourcing pattern: safety, worth, and belonging. The same foundational methodology as Anchored, structured entirely around your own life.

Check it out here: https://feminist-wellness.captivate.fm/theshift
The Shift

#391: This week, I explore the question so many of us struggle with: how do we stop overextending ourselves and self-abandoning… without losing the parts of ourselves that genuinely love supporting others?

Tune in this week to learn how to recognize when you’re giving from a place of genuine care versus fear, obligation, or a need to prove your worth. I’ll guide you through understanding how your nervous system drives people-pleasing patterns, how resentment can be a clue that you’ve crossed your own boundaries, and how setting limits can actually be one of the most loving things you do for yourself and your relationships.

Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://beatrizalbina.com/391

Order your copy of End Emotional Outsourcing here: https://beatrizalbina.com/book/

Follow me here: https://www.instagram.com/beatrizvictoriaalbinanp/?hl=en
Mentioned in this episode:
Join The Shift today!
You cancel plans with yourself the moment someone else needs something. You say yes when everything in you means no. You have watched yourself do it and been genuinely bewildered. The Shift is 12 weeks of structured somatic practice built around the three needs at the root of every Emotional Outsourcing pattern: safety, worth, and belonging. The same foundational methodology as Anchored, structured entirely around your own life.

Check it out here: https://feminist-wellness.captivate.fm/theshift
The Shift

Tenderoni Hotline #40: Hello my love, and welcome back to the Tender Hotline, the soft and spacious corner of the Feminist Wellness Podcast where we explore your most intimate and layered questions about healing, nervous system care, and reclaiming your self-trust.

In this episode, we’re diving into three powerful questions that so many emotionally outsourced folks grapple with: Do I have to fully love myself before I’m ready for real love? How do I know if I’m truly healing or just coping while everything stays the same? And is focusing on myself while the world feels like it’s falling apart actually selfish?

Together, we unpack the myth that healing has to happen in isolation. You’ll hear why real love isn’t reserved for the “fully healed,” and how our capacity for connection grows not in perfection, but in proximity and presence. We also explore how nervous system regulation can sometimes turn into a strategy for tolerating the intolerable, and how to shift from performative calm to embodied clarity and action.

We talk about how emotional outsourcing, or looking to others for your sense of safety, belonging, and worth, distorts love and keeps you stuck in survival mode. And we name the ways that focusing on your own healing and self-connection is not selfish, but a radical act of reclamation that serves both you and the collective. So my love, go ahead and grab your softest blanket, pour something warm and grounding, and settle in. I’m so glad you’re here.

Got a question for the Tenderoni Hotline? Send it to me at: podcast@beatrizalbina.com

Learn more about Anchored and join the waitlist here: https://www.beatrizalbina.com/anchored

Follow me here: https://www.instagram.com/beatrizvictoriaalbinanp/?hl=en
Mentioned in this episode:
Join The Shift today!
You cancel plans with yourself the moment someone else needs something. You say yes when everything in you means no. You have watched yourself do it and been genuinely bewildered. The Shift is 12 weeks of structured somatic practice built around the three needs at the root of every Emotional Outsourcing pattern: safety, worth, and belonging. The same foundational methodology as Anchored, structured entirely around your own life.

Check it out here: https://feminist-wellness.captivate.fm/theshift
The Shift