In this raw and deeply personal episode of Brolapse, Ryan James sits down with one of his closest friends and former roommate, Josh Mikael, for a conversation that spans decades of history, hard truths, and unconditional love.
Josh shares his fisting origin story—one that began earlier than most—and reflects on it now with the clarity that only time and experience can bring. What starts as a wild, chaotic introduction quickly evolves into a broader conversation about consent, growth, and the reality that not every formative experience is meant to be repeated.
The two revisit the night they first met at a Leatherworks Red Hanky social in Fort Lauderdale, a moment that would lead to a lasting bond, a blown-out set of tires, and a friendship built through shared experiences, tension, and ultimately, understanding.
The heart of the episode centers on Deeper—Ryan’s memoir—and Josh’s decision to write the foreword. He explains why he felt it had to be him: someone who has loved Ryan, challenged him, called him out, and never wanted anything from him in return. The result is a foreword that doesn’t protect, doesn’t condemn, but instead tells the truth.
Together, they unpack addiction, the ripple effects it has on the people around you, and the complicated reality of loving someone who is struggling. They also dive into content culture, performer value, and why Josh drew a hard line when others didn’t—refusing to give away his image for free in an industry that often expects it.
This episode is funny, painful, reflective, and honest in a way that’s rare. It’s about friendship, accountability, survival—and the idea that telling your story might be the first step toward understanding it.
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